Living in Denial of Difficult Situations in Life Simply Magnifies the Problem.Denial is one of the first common human reactions especially when faced with a crisis, a loss, or a life changing event.
In psychology, denial is a defense mechanism in response to a certain life reality that may otherwise, leave a person, feeling hurt or baffled. In death cases, denial is usually the first stage of grieving which is often preceded by shock.
In fact, in most scenarios, the first reaction is usually shock whereby one is still not able to come to terms with what is happening or what happened.
Then after shock one is faced with classic denial where the person will assume or live as if the event never happened.
In all honesty I am writing this article because over the last year I have had a number of things happen in my life that have sent me reeling and it was not until I realized that to get through these difficult events, I first needed to accept them and not simply try to deny them out of existence.
Over the past year I have done much research and self re-evaluation and I thought I could offer some advice and knowledge that I have gained about living with and breaking our denial.
There are various signs or responses that are common with denial. Some of these signs include:
Avoidance of that Situation
This is complete avoidance of an event that has happened. For instance, when one finds out that his or her child was hit by a hit-and-run vehicle one may even avoid the topic altogether or change the subject if that is a point of discussion.
Therefore, it is possible that one could be facing avoidance if they refuse to share their experience or even avoid places that may bring back a flashback of a painful memory.
Compartmentalization of the Real-Life Situation
This is another key sign of denial where one places various situations in different mental boxes so as to avoid facing the real situation.
Therefore, one tends to compartmentalize their emotions so as to avoid facing the real feeling of the situation.
For instance, in cases of soldiers in a battle field will compartmentalize each of the battles in various sections with aims of justifying why something happened. In cases where soldiers use this as a defense mechanism will even justify why they had to shoot a civilian or even a child and the reason could be even children and civilians are used to attack enemies.
In other words, different scenes emerging from a similar situation will be placed in different parts of the mind; a battle field with rival soldiers is placed in a different part in the mind from battles in a village.
Seeing a Situation through various 'Mental Prisms'
Idealization of the Situation
This is exaggeration of a traumatizing event either with positive attributes or negative attributes.
An example here could be in the case of a break down of a relationship. If one side of that relationship is badly hurt by the other leaving or moving on and them not being ready to break-up, they can try to protect themselves by deluding themselves that the person leaving was evil or did terrible things to them or something like that when really the truth is the relationship just didn’t work and both parties should just move on with their lives.
On the other hand if a relationship breaks down and ultimately it is indeed a good thing, one or other of the parties can delude themselves that the relationship did in fact work and desperately hold on to getting back together, when really it didn’t work and the best thing is to let it go and move on.
Idealizing a Real Life Situation to 'Suit Yourself'
Rationalization too is a Defense Mechanism
This is usually a common denial defense mechanism where one rationalizes a negative event as sensible.
Actually, most people who have been involved in one type of crime or another will use rationalization as a defense mechanism of what they did or assume they had every right to do so.
For instance, serial crimes are part of this process where the offender will justify his or her actions because the victim reminded them of something or behaved inappropriately.
Being able to accept truths that are extremely hurtful is difficult. But really it is the only thing that will allow you to respond properly to any given situation and allow you to heal, understand and move on.
What About You?
Do you follow any of the above mechanisms? Did you ever get the feeling that living in denial really aggravated your problem? Let us know and share your feelings with us.
About the Author
Flo has spent the last year dealing with a number of difficult situations in her life and has found that living in denial of them, in whatever form, just doesn’t work. She recently read an article titled ‘Why do people lie and live in denial’ (http://www.worldtransformation.com/why-do-people-lie) by Jeremy Griffith that she has found particularly interesting.
Bookmark, Share and Print
Please share it if you think it would help others too.
Free E-Mail/RSS Subscription 
Join 100+ Other Smart Readers and Get Free Updates to your Inbox!
