"Happy Tuesday!"
When I drank it meant to get drunk. When I drank it meant to forget about my problems and drown myself in a bottle. When I drank it meant to think only about myself, tell people how it should be or could be. When I drank I had all the answers. When I drank I thought I knew everything. When I drank it meant to be rude, obnoxious at times and mean. When I drank it meant to only care about my needs and no body else. When I drank it meant the world to me!
The day when drinking became a problem for me meant to deny it. The day drinking interfered with my judgement, decision making and well being meant to abuse myself more. The day when drinking became a need, a craving and dependency meant to drink more,...drink more,...drink more. The day when drinking changed who I really was, how I really felt and who I could really be meant to loose myself to the disease. The day when I saw and came to realize I was an alcoholic, I began my journey in sobriety! I began my recovery! I began a spiritual journey! I began a mental journey! I began a physical journey! I began a recovery journey!
What sobriety means to me today is to be mindful of who I am, what I am, and where I need to be in order to stay sober. Sobriety to me means listening to someone when they have a problem and not preach or come off as self righteous. Sobriety means to work the 12 steps into my life on a daily basis and not expect others to do the same. Sobriety means to be honest, humble and know I am still a new comer every time I attend a meeting, read a comment on Facebook, listen to a comment, take criticism with grace and not reaction, anger or resentment. Sobriety means to take care of myself mentally, spiritually and physically. Sobriety means I have choices today, I have a God of my understanding and I am willing to listen, see and wait for God's message in any situation I may face today. Sobriety means giving back to so many that have given to me by sharing, listening and just being present at a meeting. Sobriety means to work on, be aware of and deal with all my character defects in order to be true to myself and others. Sobriety means to accept myself for who I am and not what I think I should be and know that acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Sobriety means sponsorship with no expectations, no judgement, no control, no overbearing and pushy ways. Sobriety means to sponsor with unconditional love, respect, acceptance, boundaries, detachment with love and mostly the ability "NOT" to enable but suggest other ways in order to guide a struggling individual in the right direction. Sobriety means to come to a meeting with open arms and prepare to learn something, do something, change something about myself in order to be humble in my recovery. Sobriety means to have my own likes, dislikes, ability to agree to disagree and leave a confrontation without any regrets, resentments or guilt. Furthermore, sobriety means the chance at a new life, a new way of thinking, feeling, an opportunity to have so many gifts in my life and appreciate them, be grateful of them and never take my sobriety for granted. Mostly, the ability to know myself, like myself and love myself the way God planned which allows my children not hate me, fear me or resent me and to let them feel safe, accepted and listened too. I love my children and the ability to care for them, see them for who they are, what they are capable of and know I am totally present and engaged when they are around. Lastly, sobriety means so many more things and I am so grateful I have the chance to see, learn and share what sobriety means to me. My sobriety means everything to me!
What does your sobriety mean to you? On the other hand, maybe you are struggling to understand this, not sure if you can do this or perhaps you want to have sobriety but are just struggling with it. If so, take care at knowing that anything you do in your life that is right is never easy. Keep striving for your sobriety and one day you'll have a list of things that you can say what your sobriety means to you. One day, I hope that it means as much to you as it does to me.
Today I will take a long walk,...yes I will not run today, and observe, reflect and have gratitude for all the things I have learned, shared and accomplished in my sobriety. I will look forward to everyday as it will allow me to learn more about myself, my recovery and others in my life. I will walk with gratitude!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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