"Happy Sunday!"
My main addiction is ALCOHOL! I can also be addicted to sugar, drama and obsessing over something I have no control over. Sound crazy? When I came out of my denial of my addiction with alcohol I allowed myself to see me in a different way. When I became sober I started to crave sugar, madly! I needed those sugary foods to calm the cravings of what I once consumed,...alcohol! Did you know that alcohol is full of sugar? Did you know that when you consume so much of it and then you take it away your body will go through a withdrawal from sugar? For me, sugar became my new drug. When I first became sober I realized that any and all meetings I went to they always had sugary food available. It was almost like switching one addiction for another...crazy! Several years of my sobriety I came to know more and learn more about the affects of alcohol had on my body and how to control those crazy cravings of sugar. I had to do a lot of research, ask questions and learn through trial and error as to what would agree with me and what would not. Yes, I tried all those low carbohydrate diets only to find myself white knuckling again and living my life as though I was not working a program. I had to work the program now with sugar along with alcohol as an addiction. I know you may be saying to yourself,...What? All I can say is that it works if you work it! It is all about understanding yourself, your limits, your boundaries and what your willing to do in your life.
Now, I believe we are all addicted to something! I say this because when I worked on my addiction with alcohol I found myself addicted to something else,...sugar! I thought and asked tons of questions about this dual addiction behavior and all the research and all the people, doctors, addiction counselors and people I had asked or spoke with all came to the same conclusion themselves that people have all fallen back on another addiction after dealing with their main addiction. What addiction was it? For some it was gambling, smoking, sex, drugs, sugar, relationships with toxic people or with trying to fix another, exercise, drama, chaos, spending, shopping, work, love and the list can go on! My question is, did God make us all addicted to something in order for us to keep us willing to work on us, explore, grow and learn more about ourselves as well as others? I can not answer that but if I had an opportunity to interview God that would be one of the questions I would ask him or her,...lol! On the other hand, some may disagree with me and that is alright, I am only talking and expressing what I experienced and sharing it with all of you.
After being sober for some time I also learned I became a workaholic and still today need to monitor my behavior as I can start a project and not want to stop until it is done even if it costs me no sleep or eating. Heck, even when I go running I need to stop! I guess you can say I have an addictive behavior? Have you ever heard anyone say that? I heard that millions of times in and out of the rooms of any 12 step program I belonged to or went to. I would think and even believe that it is only some of us that have addictive personalities, when others do not. It wasn't until I started to go to Al-Anon meetings that I learned about addiction in a whole new way. As I sat in at the meetings, got to know people, made friends, shared, listened and started to understand more about my recovery, I realized that being in Al-Anon is a whole other type of addiction I had that I was unaware of. I was not alone, all other members shared the same addiction as I and I was blessed to know it was alright to deal with it, call it what it is and not fear or feel ashamed the fact that I still needed to change my thinking in order to live in a recovery that is wonderful and peaceful! Maybe at first I did not want to see it, deal with it or want to see myself as "addicted" to drama, chaos, fixing others, and toxic people, places and things. I was! On the other hand, I have experienced those that refuse to look at themselves as "addicted" to something in their life. They feel it is impossible, when clearly it is! Those that feel this way may say, alcoholics or drug addicts are the ONLY one's with addiction issues. I learned that this is distorted thinking. Close minded thinking! Denial thinking! It is as if these people are saying they are simply "perfect!" This thinking does not allow you to grow, learn and accept your own character defects! I learned that those in Al-Anon are addicts too, but just without the drug or drink. They were addicted to their alcoholic or drug addict or perhaps other things as well. There life along with mine were disturbed by the others addictions. I was affected by those addicts I sponsored and my husbands "closet" using! I also notice, that when being consumed by anothers addiction I or we neglected ourselves, our children and anything else we needed to focus on but could not because I or we were constantly obsessing over why, how, when and what to do to change the situation. I learned the three C's,...can not Control it, can not Cure it and can not Change it! What a wonderful way at looking at my situation or any situation I have endured or yet to endure in my life. I was so blessed to learn the three C's for that is what puts everything in perspective for me when I loose my train of thought. I have learned many things and still learn everyday something new about myself, my addictions and about people. I allow myself to be open minded, teachable and mostly willing to see me in the truest form. I am in recovery to deal with my addictions. What are your addictions?
Do you have a hard time seeing, dealing or naming your addiction? Is it easier to name an addiction on someone else? If so, start writing a list of things YOU obsess over and eventually you will be able to see what your addiction is,...hopefully you'll be able to be honest enough with yourself in order to figure out your addiction. or rather addictions.
Today, I will run knowing about my addictions and how I deal with them today. I will run understanding my true self and allow God to show me the way in my recovery!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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