"Happy Thursday!"
A couple days ago our city needed to vote for certain things that were either going to improve our city or worsen our city. A day ago we found out the results and came to terms with it. The results, for those who cared about our city, were disappointing and discouraging. My daughter cried over the results! My son was disgusted by the results! I was not surprised, neither was my husband! The half truths will never win!
You are probably wondering what the heck does this have to do with recovery. Am I right? If so, it has a lot to do with it. You ask what? My response would be truth or half truth! What is a half truth? To me, I see it as being manipulative, dishonest, sneaky and detrimental to one self when dealing with life changing issues or destructive and negative behaviors one may have when dealing with an addiction or character defect. For example, at one time when I used drugs and alcohol and even when I was first sober, I used half truths with others to get what I wanted. To gain control of others. To use others. I used half truths to feed my self absorbed, self centered and self involved needs that were to only benefit me and no one else. I used half truths out of fear, resentment and even for people pleasing in order to feel accepted and wanted. Are you confused? Let me explain, in the political world, in my opinion, is filled with half truths! In the recovery world it is filled with truths of our self, our well being and what we need to do in order to stay sober on a daily basis. Those in recovery who live like a politician,...that is "half truth" seem to find themselves discontent, bothered, miserable, angry, resentful and mostly not living the true and serene, loving and acceptable life in recovery. I pray for those that I see struggling in such a way and know that my recovery at one time was lived in this way. I no longer see myself, my difficulties and problems in a half truth way. I have chosen to deal with the full truth and this in return has given me many gifts in my recovery. This has given me strength, faith, self respect, self love and many other things that make me a better person today! Let's just say it is better to see the truth than to justify and manipulate the truth. I strive to live with the truth within myself and others! Too thine own self be true!
For those of you who have school Levy's understand what I am about to tell you. Our school Levy has not been passed in 20 years. Our school Levy has been promoted through our children, through our athletes and through anyone who believes that the Levy gives our school more money in providing services, athletic programs and specials which include music, art and library. I do believe this, but to a point! Now, our children along with many parents and citizens of our city were told that if our Levy does not pass our children will be subject to a 5 hour day, No music, No art, No library, No hot lunches and doubled the pay to play sports programs. There were many more cuts, but this is what was drilled to all of us if the Levy did not pass. The result? The Levy failed! In my opinion, the school failed by telling us in half truths! The Levy failed because the school always deliver empty threats! Yes, that's right,...Empty threats like always! You ask, "What do I mean by that?" I'll tell you the real truth is that the schools do not want you to know or rather so many know the truth and that is why it failed. The Levy is for the school employees to get raises! I am sure for other things too, but the main reason is for all the employees, mostly the administrators and those with Master Degrees to get raises. Now, I am not saying they are not worth it! I, repeat, I am not saying they are not worth it! What I am trying to say is that all these threats made, as how they have always said in the past, never seem to happen when the Levy does not pass! Why is that? Why does the Levy not pass in over 20 years? Doesn't that seem odd? It is not odd when so many know what I know and that is why it failed! Let's think about it! The schools will DENY the Levy has nothing to do with paid raises,...What? Half truth? Did I hear a Half truth? Is the school really going to loose all those things? Really? I think they will loose SOME of the things but not all! EMPTY Threats! I think if all these threats do end up being true, which I hope not then maybe the next Levy will pass! Then again, maybe not! On the other hand, just like an addict, it is like saying if you do not get your license back, from a DUI incident, you won't be able to go to as many meetings as you "would like too", only to find out later, after you have gotten your license back,...you don't even attend one! Worst off, continue to use and abuse with no intention on becoming sober or clean. Half truths!
How did I deal with my daughter who was so upset, discouraged and worried over all the threats that were made? I comforted her, held her and told her we must wait and see if they really mean what they said. I explained that so many times in the past the school would threaten horrible things that would happen if the Levy did not pass, only to find out nothing really changed except for some things! Empty Threats! Half Truths! Lastly, I wrote the superintendent a letter, in regards to these half truths and especially because all these threats that caused my daughter to have such anxiety and stress over whether the Levy would pass or not. When it failed my daughter cried! It broke my heart! I needed to voice my opinion, regardless if they read it or not! I needed to be true to myself! I needed to speak the truth! My daughter's panic over her must loved subjects that she will miss along with staff members and many other things that were threatened to end if the Levy did not pass would be wasted energy and anxiety for my daughter if these were all empty threats and half truths! I needed to ask the superintendent if these threats were real or if they were just a ploy to get voters to vote! I needed to voice what would disgust me if these threats were really empty and how it affect my daughter! Half Truths that affect young, innocent children. No different from one of us using drugs or alcohol. For instance, like promising your child you'll be there for them, and you don't show up because you forgot or you were too busy drinking and drugging! I pray for those who only live with "Half Truths!"
Now, I am sure there will be some that will disagree with me, especially if you are a teacher or work for a school system and then again, maybe not. Maybe some will be glad I shared what I did, that is if you live in the truth with yourself and others! Either way it does not matter because I feel I have spoke the truth and that is all that matters! I will choose to live in the truth!
Today I will do yoga and meditate on how important living in the truth is in my recovery and in my life and with others I share my life with. I will not stretch the truth, only my muscles!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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