"Happy Wednesday!"
When I drank, I never thought it was a job to do so! When I drank the thought of not drinking again seemed as if that would be a job! When I drank, my job was to make sure I got away with things, manipulated you, stay cunning and baffling to others and only think about me! When I drank, my job was not to admit to ANYTHING! When I drank, my job was to stay in denial, lie and control every situation. When I drank, my job was to share my blues with you and always invited a pity party full of drama and chaos! When I drank, my job was to never forgive, always remain angry and used my resentments to get even with you. When I drank, my job was a job! I was a job in itself that never went to work!
On April 3, 1993, I chose to become sober. I was ready to stop my insanity! I was so sick of being sick in tired of being sick in tired. I was willing to become sober! I was willing to let go, listen, take advice and change my life for good! I thought it was going to be a job in staying sober. I thought that my job in being sober would never end as long as I stayed sober. I thought my job as being sober was going to take time, effort, courage and a whole lot of faith in God! When I first became sober, I looked at it, as a HUGE job!
What is a job? A job to me can be many things. A job can be something you go to everyday, something you hate doing but do it anyways because you have too, jobs that pay and mostly make a living in order to get by. However, most people who relate to something as a job means it is work. It also means perhaps not desirable. It means perhaps something they have to do just to survive. On the other hand, non-paying jobs such as, a job as a mother, father, grandma, grandpa, volunteering and so forth can be very rewarding regardless of no pay. So when does a job not become a job? When you live your passion, when you do something that doesn’t feel like work, when you give of yourself because you have a never ending drive to do so and when you see the love of what your doing means more than what you get in return. Your day flies by, without you always looking at the clock. In addition, for me when I feel or do work with this in mind without even noticing it, I no longer call it or refer it too as a job!
When did my sobriety and recovery no longer feel like a job? Time went by and after being 6 years sober, having many pink clouds, gone through a dry drunk stage and even a feel sorry for me pity party I can not drink anymore faze,...a spiritual awakening happened that changed the way I viewed my sobriety as a job! I will explain, I was working as an art director at the time and someone at my work had come to me about a problem they were having, little did I know that they were struggling with alcoholism too. Anyways, I just stood there listening to them pour their heart out to me and all I could do was listen! Yes, listen! I did not correct, try to save them, try to fix them, try to tell them what they should do or how they should be or act,...I just listened! That was a miracle in itself for me not to react or respond. That was my spiritual awakening! Your probably wondering what was the spiritual awakening. It was LISTENING! Did you know that listening is a form of sharing? Did you also know that whenever you share with someone it is sometimes harder to listen than to really share? Listening can be a whole job in itself!
I hated to listen! I viewed it as such a job! This caused me to sometimes struggle in my sobriety. I knew once I had listened,...really listened to someone I knew I would have to get that mirror out! That meant work! Sometimes I was not always willing to look at me. I was not always willing to look at my part in it. However, in order for me to change and be a better person, I knew I had too. Moreover, after listening to this individual spill their guts out to me, I realized that I was being trusted! I also realized that I was someone they felt comfortable with in order to share such secrets of themselves. I actually started to look at myself as valuable. I started to view myself as compassionate, accepting and loving. I was amazed to know that by allowing myself to listen I allowed myself to learn more about me and even the other person. I began to feel more involved in wanting to know more about others and me. I became excited for change and making a difference in someone’s life. I no longer felt it was a job to share my recovery! I began to see my sharing as my passion, my blessings and as gifts. This helped me to be more willing to reach out to someone still struggling and even for me when I was struggling. This allowed me to give and to be willing to listen as well as share my experience, strength and hope. When I started to look at my sobriety as a blessing, rather than a job, my recovery became so much more. Yes, granted sobriety and recovery is a lot of work but it is what keeps us alive. I am glad I no longer view it as a job because jobs come and go and I would not want my sobriety to be one of them! My sobriety and recovery is no longer job! It is a way of life I call freedom!
Today I will take a long walk and be willing to listen to my surroundings even if it is load of peaceful! I hope your recovery is not viewed as a job. If so, try to allow yourself to see all the positives it has on your life, soon your gratitude will become your attitude!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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