"Happy Thursday!"
I have not written in my blog for almost a week! Has anyone noticed? I have not wanted to write in my blog! Why should I, no one cares, no one has noticed, what's the point? I have been feeling depressed and disappointed! I am allowed to feel this way,...I need to feel! I have been feeling unappreciated, forgotten and mostly sad about what I do, how I share and how much time and effort it takes for me to keep my blog up and running. People who do not do what I do will never understand the passion, drive and love I have for my Sobriety Fitness! I suddenly have not felt that love! My expectations of what I thought Sobriety Fitness meant to others, as it does to me, had become a big disappointment and reality. I chose to be sad! I chose not to write! I chose to isolate! I chose! Welcome to my "Pity Party!"
Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever worked so hard for something, believed in something and Bam! Crushed by reality! Have you ever tried so hard at something that it is going no where...with no direction,...no guidance? Have you ever wanted to just give up? Have you given up? Have you ever wished others felt the same as you? Have you ever felt so depressed you just do not want to get out of bed, get dressed, take a shower and worst off not eat or over eat? Have you ever wondered when you feel like this the feeling will never end? Have you ever felt you are standing in quicksand and everyone around you just stands there watching or worse yet, ignores it, deny it or could care less?
The result? My pity party caused me to not look for the message! My pity party caused me to loose track of my recovery tools. My pity party caused me to stay depressed, isolated and feeling less than what I am truly worth. My pity party allowed me to enter the bad neighborhood in my head. My pity party caused me to feel as though I was stuck, at a dead end and to just give up! However, a "spiritual awakening" happened, which helped me to realize how I was behaving. Without this spiritual awakening my pity party could have caused me to continue thinking the way I was thinking,...I chose NOT too! My pity party could have caused me my sobriety,...I chose NOT too! My pity party could have caused me to become a dry drunk,...I chose NOT too! I chose NOT too! I chose NOT too! That's the difference!
The spiritual awakening I experienced was brought to me through an email someone had sent me about,...well,...it was about how they were feeling sorry for themselves, no one cares, I didn't get, self pity party message, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't until I read it, absorbed it and shared it with others how self centered this person was behaving. Sounds like ME! It wasn't until I realized how this persons behavior bothered me, disturbed me and helped me to truly see ME! I need to be GRATEFUL! It wasn't until I noticed how much I sounded or acted like this person. I needed to LOOK IN THE MIRROR! It wasn't until I realized how much of a blessing this email was to me, even though it aggravated me at first, it helped me to get out of me. The email was a BLESSING to me! The email was the MESSAGE!
My pity party has been lifted and I must realize I am not the only person who writes about recovery, I am not the only person who experienced recovery and mostly I am not the only one who has a blog. I am just this person who shares my experience, strength and hope with others,...and nothing more or less. I am a person who is passionate about what I share and what I do,...nothing more or less. I am just this person who is sober today as others are too. I am a person who hopes that my blog will inspire and motivate others,...nothing more or less! I know the difference, today!
Do you struggle with self pity? Do you realize when you are acting in a self pity way? I know today how devastating self pity can be to your spirit, your mentality and your physical well being. I am grateful I was willing to see how negative I was acting. It's alright if you choose not to read my blog,...I am not the only one who shares a story! Today, I will run hoping that someday Sobriety Fitness will be something to someone!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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