"Happy Monday!"
When I was growing up I never had a problem socializing with others. When I was growing up I loved to be with my friends and family. When I was a teenager I never had a problem with being popular. As a teenager and young adult I had boyfriends. As a teenager and young adult I never had a problem finding a date or having a date. Guys always seemed to cling to me! I cling to them! In a way it was attention I never needed to seek,...it just came. I always had attention by the opposite sex! So, is that so bad?
When I was drinking the attention from guys was flattering. It made me feel good, important and mostly wanted. It helped me to take the focus off the pain I was feeling inside! When I was drinking I would use my looks to get what I wanted. It helped me not to take responsibility or accountability when I would do the wrong thing! When I was drinking I thought if I had looks I could be happy with anything, get anything and not have to work so hard to achieve it. It allowed me to get promotions and clients! When I was drinking my looks and the way I viewed it was distorted thinking! My looks were not pure, not honest and very manipulative! My looks were not about me, how I felt or what I needed in life. My looks were shallow and empty. I needed a new face!
I always thought that guys liked me because I could play the same sports as they did, run as fast as they could and be able to hold my own. I was a Tom boy, at it's best! I later discovered that most of the guys liked me because of my looks. Typical and understandable when growing up! Although, even though I was a Tom boy I never looked like one. I dressed appropriately and did my hair in a girly way and wore make up when needed. I still am like that today! I do not like a lot of make up, my hair does not have to be perfect and I could careless if my nails are done or not. I am comfortable in my own skin without all the extras. Yet, guys still were attracted to me and still are today. That is not a bad thing only when it comes to Facebook! Is Facebook all about the face?
It wasn't until I became sober that I realized my looks were no longer important. Now, do not get me wrong, I still appeared decent and took care of myself I just did not use my beauty to get things. I saw myself more than a face. I saw myself as someone with a lot of issues that needed to be cared for. I saw myself as hurting and covering them up with relationships with toxic guys and toxic people. I saw myself as not knowing how to feel, let alone how to deal with it. I saw myself lost and no longer found by someone else to pick up my pieces and fix them. I finally saw myself as me, myself and I! I no longer saw "just" my face in the mirror, I saw myself in the mirror! Myself became more beautiful than my face! I love myself!
People who truly know me and have grown up with me know me for more than my looks! Know me for my athletic or artistic abilities! Know me for my recovery and what I share, how I share it and what I do with it on a daily basis! Know me as a good, supportive and strong advocate of a mom. Know me through the way I write, how I express myself and love others. The list could go on! Those who don't, and friend me I sometimes wonder if it is just because of my photo or if they are truly interested in my blog, my Sobriety fitness group or who I really am. I am more than just a face! I have been told over 213 times by people on Facebook that I look like Jennifer Aniston and that I should be on the cover of Vogue! That's all nice and I appreciate the compliments, but are we on Facebook for the wrong reasons? Are we on Facebook because of how someone looks? Is Facebook all about the face when you choose who to friend?
In my opinion, I would rather friend someone who had something nice to say, share or what they have shown, as of their character, in other groups or pages. I know I can not change the way people see things or want things, only I can do such a thing. With that in mind, I decided to change my profile picture and hopes that I am more than just a face to others! I would want people to friend me because of what I share on my blog. Those who are inspired by my message and even motivated by it! I would want people to friend me because of what I show of myself through example. I would want people to friend me because of me and not just because of my face! I removed my face, but not me!
Have you ever experienced this? Do you feel you are more than just your face? I do and I know I have a lot to be grateful for, which I am, but my gratitude of how I changed my insides could never match the way I look from the outside. I radiate inside with gratitude and so many wonderful things that make me what I am today! I am more than just a face!
Today, I will run with gratitude of all the beautiful things I feel about myself inside as well as outside! I am beautiful inside and out!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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