Diet & Weight Magazine

Recovery: Brutally Honest Vs. Honest!

By Sobrfit3
Written By:  Cathy Shuba
"Happy Wednesday!"
When I was drinking I was always brutally honest!  When I was drunk I was always brutally honest!  When I had the opportunity to one up on someone, I was brutally honest!  When I felt the need to tell you how I thought, how it should be and how you should act, I was brutally honest!  When I had the need to make myself feel good, look better and control another I was brutally honest with you!  When I was a drunk, when I was drinking and when I was under any influence I was brutally honest with you!
When I became sober I learned many things about what words meant.  One of the first words I learned was honesty.  Honesty was the key to all my affairs with people and most importantly myself!  Being honest with myself took courage!  It still does today!  Being honest relieved me of any shame or guilt I had with myself or others.  I hate to feel guilty or experience any shame, is a horrible feeling and it is a feeling that can cause me to drink!  I choose not to manipulate or control others in order for me not to feel shame or guilt in my life!  Being honest with myself took patience!  It still does today,...I am not perfect!  Being honest with myself sometimes was scary, fearful and caused me anxiety and stress.  It still can today,...but I am more willing to seek my own inventory in order to change what I need to, see things for what they are and make my choices in order to deal with the truth!  Honesty is what has helped me find me today!  I am still finding me, today!  Honesty has given me many gifts in order to change what I needed to change within myself and how I needed to feel inside.  I still receive gifts in order for me to change or better my spirit!  Honesty helped me look at myself in the mirror!  I can look at me in the mirror!  Honesty allowed me to be willing to have faith, courage and strength in areas of my life I lacked and may still lack today,...and that is OK, too!  Honesty is what makes me still work on me, see me and deal with me.  I still need work on me and I still need to deal with me!  I need to be honest with myself today in order to grow!  I want to keep growing!  I choose to be honest!
What does it mean to be "brutally" honest?  To me when I hear someone say that, I automatically think of my very first meetings I attended and an older gentleman stood and made this comment, "Always be honest with yourself and others but never be "brutally" honest, for that is a selfish and self seeking way of being honest!"  What a spiritual awakening that was for me!  I had realized that when being brutally honest with someone or myself my motives are not pure and it is the opposite of helping someone, rather hurting them or my own well being!  When being brutally honest, my motives are not honest, loving and accepting.  Brutally honest means, well look at the first word..."brutal" this should sum it all up, there!  I do not know about you, but I no longer want to live that life being brutal to anyone, let alone myself!  I was taught that brutal honesty is a way to be mean with a passive aggressive behavioral twist to it.  I never knew the difference between brutally honest and just being honest.  I know the difference today!  Did you?  I am so blessed to know the difference.  I learned in order to be honest is to have compassion, sincerity and love tied to it.  Honesty is saying what it is, without being mean!  Brutal honesty would be mean, self seeking and controlling!  Brutal honesty is like sticking out your chest in a cocky, I know it all and how things should, could and will be if you listen to me attitude!  Sound familiar?  I do not want to be like that!  I choose not to be like that!  I will be honest with you but with respect, love and compassion.  Honesty is a gift to use in order to grow spiritually, mentally and physically.  Honesty is a way to set things free without the ability to be selfish!  For instance, Step Nine:  "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, EXCEPT when to do so would injure them or others!"  Step nine is all about coming clean and being honest with someone else and to ourselves as well,...but within reason!  I was taught this, I am glad I was taught this and when I hear someone say, "Well, it's the truth...too bad!"  I always think of step nine and remember not to be brutally honest in order to feel good about myself with no regards to another.  I will not be self seeking,...with the word honesty!  I will not be selfish,...with the word honesty!  I will not be brutally honest!  I will just be honest!
Have you found yourself being brutally honest with someone?  Did you ever know that there was a difference between the two?  I choose to be honest,...what type do you choose to be?  If you disagree with me, what is your motive in being brutally honest?
Today I will run knowing that I strive to be honest with myself in all I do and say!  I will run knowing that honesty will help me run safe and strong!
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Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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