"Happy Saturday!"
I recently received a email from a friend asking me where I have been and wondering how I have been feeling. I recently received an email from someone who is kind, thoughtful and considerate. I recently received a email from a friend who was just being a good friend. Many Blessings to you my friend!
"Geez, where have I been?" Let's start off with feeling overwhelmed, discouraged and lack of direction! Continue with exhausted, overworked and being stretched from every angle that you can possible imagine. Hmmm, doing too much with no direction? I feel like an octopus doing everything at one time and not doing it well. Hmmmm, not doing it well? Feeling the need to do everything, accomplish everything and thinking I am doing it all when really I am doing nothing to improve any of my situations but making them worse or more difficult. Hmmm, sounds like that old phrase, "Jack of all trades, master of none?" Does anyone feel like this? Has anyone felt like this? Sounds like I am out of balance?
The messaged I received today was a spiritual awakening in regards to finding balance in my life. A couple weeks ago, I had wrote about my feelings about my blog. A few days ago, I wrote about my feelings about my message that I share in my blog, not my looks when it comes to my blog. Today, I am writing about the balance that is so needed in my life, it was screaming at me when I read the message from my friend. Screaming can be a good thing especially when it is trying to get your attention! This got my attention!
Balance, what does it mean and why do I need it? Why does anyone need it? I can only speak for myself so here it goes. Balance to me, means the willingness to have that mental steadiness or emotional stability that allows me to have calmness within. Sounds easy, but in reality it is one of the most difficult things I find to do. I must do it, I must seek it, I must have it in order to feel calm, serene and connected spiritually. Heck, I even have to find balance when I run on a daily basis. But the real question is, "Why, after all these years of being sober, I still struggle with this?" I am human? I am not perfect? I still make mistakes? I still have a long way to go when dealing with this,...not so good, character defect? The reality and honest answer to all of this is the state of me feeling I need to do everything, control everything and accomplish everything at any given moment, and the worst of all of this, is not saying,...NO!
The solution, step back, figure out my priorities, my needs for that hour, that day and do what I can. Be kinder to myself! Forgive myself! I will have balance! On the other hand, it is forgetting I have A.D.D.(Attention Deficient Disorder!)and realizing how hard it is to focus on one task at a time. It is a constant struggle I have with this on a daily basis. The solution, I must start writing my list of things in order to accomplish at least one of them, without beating myself up. I must remind myself to write down only three goals to accomplish, not fifteen. I will have balance! Letting all of you know that if I have not written in my blog recently it means I am working on balance! I will have balance! If you do not see me on Facebook or I have not messaged or email you back right away, it means I am working on balance! I will have balance!
So, in saying all of this, "Have I been working on balance in my life without even knowing it?" Let's see, I have cut back on the amount of postings on do on my blog,...yes, I have been working on balance! I have cut back on the time I spend on Facebook and on all the groups I belong too and continue to be added too on a daily basis,...yes, I have been working on balance! In doing so, I have been able to spend more time working on me, what I need to do and have become more available to my family. Moreover, I felt guilty at first when cutting back, but said to myself,..."It's alright to feel this way and that change is not easy but necessary to improve my state of being, this too, shall pass!" It has passed and I am still, sometimes struggling with the balance but I know and have accepted that this character defect is something I will always have to remain mindful of in order to keep my life balanced!
Do you struggle with balance in your life? Have you found balance in your life? If so, isn't a fabulous feeling knowing balance is a gift of serenity? Today, I will run with peace and knowing I try my best everyday to stay balanced. I know when I become irritated and discontent it is a way for me to find that balance again. Change will be never be ending in my life as long as I want balance!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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