Unless you move to the middle of a vast forest, and live off the land, there are always going to be other people around you. In fact, we have to deal with other people almost on a daily basis. Our co-workers, our neighbors, and even the girl at the checkout counter are all people that we can make personal contact with throughout our day.The problem is that we all have a different outlook on life. We all have different beliefs and ideals about how life should be and what's right or not right, and many people feel that their way of living is the only way of living. And that can cause a lot of bad reactions.
For example, just the other day many of us watched as a group of Christian moms complained about the fact that Ellen Degeneres, an openly gay but also openly compassionate person, was going to be a spokesperson for J.C. Penny. They were trying to get the company to remove Ellen from their campaign, because she was gay, and because it’s what they believed was right to do.
While Ellen had no way of controlling how these people talked about her or complained about her, she did have a choice over how she reacted to the situation. And in her usual way - she chose humor which painted a new, lighthearted look at the situation.
We All Choose How We React To Situations
We may not have as many eyes on us as someone like Ellen, but we can also choose to react to a negative situation in a positive way. It's important that we control our reactions and align them to how we really want to live our lives.
For instance, if you are striving to have a loving and accepting life then reacting to a negative person with more negativity is not going to help you on that path. Reacting in a loving and accepting manner would be a much better choice.
Besides creating the life we want it's also important to control the way we react to negative people for our own health.
No matter who you are, a negative reaction can cause a lot of stress on your life. Your blood pressure may rise, and you may set a negative tone to your day (or days) due to thinking about the situation. You may complain to everyone your see about this negative situation which just gives it more energy and causes you more stress.
No one has the right to make you unhappy or unhealthy. Just because they are negative doesn't mean you have to be!
Two Positive Ways to React
1. Be Understanding
I have come to realize that a person who reacts in a negative way does not feel good internally. You can't be positive and loving AND angry, mean, and judgmental at the same time. It's impossible! If you are loving and positive then you are viewing the world in a 'live and let live' kind of attitude.
So knowing this you know that anyone who tries to make you feel bad does not feel good themselves. They could be unhappy, depressed, or confused. There are a lot of different negative emotions that they may be feeling that cause them to act the way they do.
If you see it from that perspective it can help you to realize that it's not all about you, and it can help you to be thankful that you are not feeling like they are. I'm not talking about being smug, because that's negative in itself.
I'm talking about recognizing the negativity in them and appreciating your happiness and positivity in yourself.
Knowing that you are on a higher level of positivity then they are can allow you to move on with your day without lowering yourself to their negativity. It can help you react in a more positive and understanding manner and just move on with your day.
2. Be Loving
It can be hard to not react in a negative way to a negative person, especially when you are in the heat of the moment. And if you can't leave that situation then you have to find another way to react, so why not try to show love.
You can ask them, lovingly not condescendingly, if there is something that they would like to talk about that's bothering them or if they could use help with something. Try to find the root of their anger and see if you can offer them something positive.
The majority of times you will find that you will get a new kind of response from them. Your positive and calm energy will help them become positive and calm, and they may even become grateful that you reacted in a kind and loving manner. You will both leave the situation feeling much better.
Of course they may be defensive and feel you are being arrogant. If that happens you can assure them you are not and you just want them to feel better, and if that doesn't work then you can find someone else to moderate the conversation so they can see that you really do have the best intentions.
When we change the way we react to negative people we may not always cause them to become happier or more positive, but we will always cause ourselves to become happier and more positive, and in the end that's really all we have control over.
Bellaisa owns the relationship circle, a relationship blog focused on happy and healthy relationships. Click here to learn how to get her free ebook titled 45 Things to Do To Keep Your Relationship Alive.
