Diet & Weight Magazine

Fear: Uncertainty Causes Me to Have Fear!

By Sobrfit3

Fear:  Uncertainty Causes Me to Have Fear!
Written By:  Cathy Shuba
“Happy Thursday!”
Why do I sometimes feel this way?  Is it from fear or insecurities?  To me, it is from fear and sometimes from my own insecurities.  I have been sober for some time now and still can feel fear and insecurities.  Is there something wrong with me?  Does this mean I have no faith?  Does this mean I am still insecure?  Does this mean I cannot make a decision?  Should I be working more on me?  Should I be doing more of this, more of that, dear Lord maybe I should stop over thinking what I am thinking and just allow myself to feel uncertain and fear and accept that I am feeling a little insecure about what is ailing me.
Did you ever feel a certain way and all of a sudden, you panic, as if you have to rid this feeling, emotion or crisis in order to “think” you are fine?  You begin to fear the old feelings of insecurities and doubt and wonder to yourself, why am I feeling this way there must be something terribly wrong with me.  In order to “think” that you got it all under control?  Did you ever feel that you have been in recovery for quite some time you “should” not be feeling this way?  You may feel too proud to ask for help, suggestions or someone to listen to your fear.  Writing this blog post today proves I am not to proud or am not afraid to admit what I am feeling.  Heck, all my blog posts should prove that,…LOL!  So what is the purpose for this post today?  Allowing myself to feel no matter how long I have been sober.  Allowing myself to look in the mirror and admit my fears and insecurities.  Allowing myself to see myself for what I am without immediately trying to fix it, control it or deny it.  Allowing me to feel what I am feeling, nothing more or less!  It is simple as long as I allow myself not to confuse it, complicate it and add more drama to whatever is going on in my life!  It can be very simple!
What is going on with me in order to feel uncertain?  I started a new website, made a new logo and I am trying to launch the new site before my blogs anniversary date, which is February 14.  My new Sobriety Fitness site will accommodate more articles, information and yes a ‘shop’ page that will allow for a more all around help to enhance or add more to the recovery you have today.   Well, at least I hope so!  No, I did not write a book on a new recovery program or a book slamming the rights and wrongs of other recovery programs.  My, Sobriety Fitness is not about that, it is about, my recovery, what I do to stay sober and how I deal with others that are not sober or clean.  My ‘shop’ page will include different items and some that may be very useful in your recovery but will not replace any part of your recovery program you attend or work on today.  My site will be about, my blogs posts and added extras to enhance your recovery program.  You may wonder at this point, what my uncertainty is.  My uncertainty is whether you all will like it.  Whether you will, all miss the old site, not come to the new one or perhaps rip me in two because I have a shop page!  Hopes that you will love it, appreciate it and continue to add my message to your recovery.  I hope that my new site will create hope, love and faith into your recovery as it has for my recovery.  I hope I eventually see you at my new site!
All of these uncertainties are normal and I do not feel as though I am crazy for feeling them.  My recovery is about always learning about me, seeing me and enhancing me.  I do not want my recovery to be about beating myself up when I may be lacking something or perhaps make mistakes.  I want to be always open minded to others and myself.  I want to be fair to myself.  Therefore, with that I will allow myself to feel and nothing more!  I will allow myself to feel with the fact I know I have choices to change only my situation and me and focus only on that!  Yes, I am insecure,…a little!  Yes, I have uncertainty,…a little!  Yes, I have fear,…a little!  However, I will tell you this, without my insecurities, fear and uncertainty I would not have the courage to write this blog post today.  I would not have the faith in my message to start a new website, add more to it, share all my experience, strength, and hope with all of you.  I would not have the strength to admit how I am feeling, allow myself to feel it without controlling it and move through it regardless of my sometimes uncomfortable doubts may hang on me like a tired child.  I am grateful for having these feelings.  I am grateful knowing I can feel them today.  I am grateful I can identify my feelings today.  I am grateful for my uncertainty and fear!  My gifts in all of this uncertainty were courage, faith and strength!  I will know me more, love me more and mostly understand me more!  Uncertainty and fear are such a gift and allow many gifts as well!
Do you sometimes feel uncertain?  Do you sometimes beat yourself up because your doubt does not deliver answers immediately?  If so, try allowing yourself to feel what your feeling, chances are your uncertainty will deliver you more than what you thought you doubted in the first place.  For instance, patience, acceptance, understanding and many more gifts uncertainty can teach you.   
Today, I will do yoga knowing it will calm my mind of uncertainty, fear and insecurities I am experiencing now.  Yoga, will cleanse my mind, body and spirit!

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