Diet & Weight Magazine

Detachment: Did You Ask, “Why Did This Happen?”

By Sobrfit3

Written By:  Cathy Shuba

After being sober for almost 20 years, I came to realize that when a person asks why, they really are showing how much they care for others or a situation.  Yesterday, an awful, disturbing and terrifying incident happened in Newton, Connecticut.  An innocent Elementary school (Sandy Hook Elementary) became a victim to someone’s unresolved or not cared for mental issues.  I wrote about unresolved mental issues that happen or could happen to people in my book “Drunk to Sober” which will be released in January 2013.  I hope what I share in my book will help others realize they are not alone and to seek help where needed.  Unfortunately, what I share in my book and my blog I know and realize I still have no control over one’s life or what they choose to do with it when it comes to getting help for themselves or others.  Moving on, sadness filled my heart along with many other feelings I experienced when seeing this on the media at my dad’s barbershop.  I have to admit, I did not ask why only because I have seen so many things happen this past year that involved shootings.  It was not because I did not care but knew I had no control over it and could not fix what had already happened to those innocent people.  Instead, I felt aggravated.  I think it is a shame that I no longer would ask why.

Do we need to say this will be normal in our society today?  Can we do something about it?  Can we change things on how we care for one another?  Can we make a change?  Can my blog post make a difference in someone’s life?  I have no answers neither do I have control over it only have the control over what I share with all of you on how I feel about what just happened yesterday.  I can only share and spread my hope amongst others.  Do you feel the hope?  Can you see the hope?  Do you crave hope?  I feel we need to look for solutions instead of asking why and actually do something about it.  What is that you ask?  I do not have the solution but I did see one of God’s messages yesterday that I feel continues to go ignored.  In other words, in my opinion, our world has become so detached in so many ways that makes us attached only when things like this happen.  Does this make sense?  Did you see that message?  Will you allow yourself to see that message?

In recovery, I have learned to detach with love in a healthy way, yet our society has learned to detach with no regard for one’s feelings, needs or physical connection.  In other words, detachment in our society today is dealt with unhealthy behaviors or obsessions that affect so many people in one’s life.  I am a spiritual person; I feel God shows his message in everyone and everything and by these shootings, God’s message continues not to be heard!  Now, I am not saying this is the only message but one message I see and feel that has gone ignored and continues to go ignored—our way of communicating.  I saw the messages yesterday—DETACHMENT!  I feel the world has become so detached from people, places and things and having something like this happen, again—forces us or maybe not to become more attached to people, places and things.  What am I talking about when I say detached?  Let’s start off by our younger generation that are so plugged into electronic devices, social media and computers that a simple question of “How are you?” is typed, texted or read instead of the human contact of actually hearing and seeing someone acknowledge us.  Then we have the adults in the same matter but even worse because of their careers, not knowing how to communicate in person or fear communication and hide behind emails and texts just to get their point across with someone they dread or just do not want to deal with in a human way.  Heck, people killed because someone who was driving a car needed to text instead of actually watching the road—people are even detached when driving.  I see people walking down the street with their heads in their phones, ipod’s or now electronic reading devices walk into others or let’s face it—“cannot even look up to say HI!  Please, do not get me wrong I am not saying that DETACHMENT caused these shooting incidents to occur this past year.  I am trying to make a point of how we communicate and how the killers who committed these awful shooting sprees onto innocent victims knew only to communicate with their armory of guns.  I feel the signs of their cry for help had been there and we as society are too plugged in to see it, recognize it and acknowledge their cry.  Some may feel I am blaming society.  Maybe so!  Some may feel I am just blaming in order to make sense of it.  Maybe so!  Some may even just sit back read what I have to say and change the way they communicate with their children, husband, wife, co-workers, friends, parents and the list could go on.  This then would be what my message is too all of you who read this and I HOPE my message will give you just that today!  Attach to others in love and let them know you have acknowledged them today!  Detach only with Love and your detachment will be healthy.

Today, I ran with no music in my ears as I have always run in silence.  People may wonder how I stay motivated to run without any music pumping through my ears.  My answer would be in order to be—“ATTACHED” to my surroundings in order to have gratitude and hope.


Many Blessings to all affected by this awful incident in Newton, Connecticut.

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