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The Obstacles: Learning The Concept Of Loving Again

By Lyndsay @balancebrunette
The Obstacles: Learning The Concept Of Loving Again

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Learning to love again is all about getting over the obstacles within yourself, which is something that we all can struggle with. When you are on approach to a happier you need to think about the overall challenges that come with learning to love again. Ultimately when we have our hearts broken, or we are looking to start all over again, either because it’s later in life or we feel we are ready to begin again, we’ve got to remember that learning to love again isn’t something that happens overnight. Some people don’t want to give love for whatever reason. And there are numerous reasons and ideas that can help you to consolidate yourself with the concept of learning to love again.

You Can Still Protect Yourself

Some people feel that they put up a barrier between themselves in the world because there’s just a lot of concerns about relationships, especially in a physical sense. Whether it’s the alarming statistic that there were 504 new cases of HIV in Missouri a few years ago or that there is so much social media catfishing, we can feel that temptation to be overprotective of ourselves. This is natural but we have to remember that we can still protect ourselves.

When we fall in love with someone again, we have to remember that we aren’t completely giving ourselves over, it’s about finding someone that’s a perfect fit for ourselves. Some people think that when they fall in love, they have to give themselves over completely. But this is not the case. You have to remember that when you fall for someone, you can still protect yourself, and you can pull back if necessary. But you have to remember that if you are tearing away because you are sparing yourself pain rather than finding someone perfect for you then this is where you have to start addressing concerns within yourself.

Everybody Has Love To Give

Some people are so reticent to open themselves up that they can go their entire life without loving someone ever. We have to remember that as human beings, being loving is part of our nature. Sometimes we’re not born into loving families, and sometimes we are, but if we’ve had our heart broken once, this can be the very simple reason we put up our barriers between the world and us. But you have to remember that making the choice not to love someone is exhausting. You’ve got to continually protect yourself, and over time, this can become a very exhausting practice. It becomes part of your psychological makeup, and you then find that it becomes who you are and when not loving someone is natural, this means you are, to an extent, depriving yourself of something wonderful.

Are You Depriving Others?

Everybody deserves to be loved, and when there are people that hurt in the past, choosing to hold up a barrier between us and the world means that we can be depriving others of love that we can give them. It becomes a part of who you are when you start to consciously avoid any sense of affection. But when you begin to look at the people in your sphere like your friends and family, if you don’t give them the affection that they need from you it can result in a strained relationship. If you have a friendship with someone who you might not have so much affection for, but they are in your life, you have to remember that these people deserve to be loved just as you do. Sometimes it’s those little things that everybody can benefit from, like a small gift. It doesn’t take much to do a simple act of love for someone. Keep it simple and show people that you do care about them.

Is Withholding Love Depriving You Of Happiness?

Because we are making such an active effort not to show others our affection for them when we don’t share anything, it goes back to the love that we have for ourselves. You may think that if you don’t care about others as much, this gives you more opportunity to look after yourself and love yourself more. But you have to remember that when you are protecting yourself, it’s not necessarily selfish, but it could be about low self-worth. If you are withholding love to others it may be important to go back to the drawing board and to teach yourself to love yourself. Self-esteem is one of those crucial things that there’s a difference between protecting yourself and loving yourself.

Learning To Be Who You Are

If we are reticent to love others, it can be about that barrier between us in the world, but it’s also about protecting ourselves. After a while, we start to lose track of who we are because we’ve put barrier after barrier up. And when we’ve gone through a lot of pain or suffering, we need to stand back and really think about who we are. We could perceive being loving as exposing our vulnerability, but if you learn to open yourself up, this means that you are being more honest with yourself, and in turn, it helps you to become who you are. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to recognize, but when we are more open and especially with those that we trust, we learn to be more connective. But then when you start to limit your love for others, you can struggle to be you. Learning to be who you are isn’t an overnight fix, and it’s something that can happen a long way from now, but what if we start to open ourselves up and stop being a shell? This can make us realize of what we’ve been depriving ourselves.

Loving Is Never A Bad Thing

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. And when we learn to open ourselves up to someone, we are opening up to ourselves. Learning to love someone is never a bad thing because it helps us to understand another person’s thoughts and feelings, but it also gives us the opportunity to lay our hearts on the line. And yes, it means that you are running the risk of having it broken, but when you love someone, it’s not about the worries that could occur because they may never happen. Besides, when you look back on relationships, even the ones that failed, they are a series of moments that congregate in your mind. And a lot of these moments you look back on with fondness, regardless of the outcome. Sometimes we can miss these moments or miss the person, but we have to remember that loving is living. 

Choose Life And Choose Love

Some people can definitely feel that it’s an overused concept, especially now in the modern age, where the very act of a relationship can seem non-existent for some people. But love isn’t necessarily about a relationship in the traditional sense; it’s about finding someone that you connect with. We can sometimes forget that there are important people in our life that will make us feel that life is worth living. We don’t have to be husbands or wives or partners in the traditional sense. But there’s still a lot of pressure that society puts on us to have a proper relationship in order to feel the merits of happiness. In reality, it’s essential to look at what you want and decide if a relationship is worth it. Loving someone isn’t about the traditional relationship; it’s about finding those people in your life that make everything worthwhile. Learning to love again isn’t about finding the right person; it’s about bringing the barriers down and realizing that you can experience love in so many different ways.

Some people feel put off by the idea of having a partner, and it’s unsurprising because of the various social and relationship problems out there. However, this means that in order to feel any sense of fulfillment, maybe it’s about finding the right social group? Learning to love again is not just about the people that suit you, but it’s about making sure that you are open and receptive to finding happiness in other ways. It’s not about the typical constructs. Of course, if the time comes that you feel you need to get into a relationship, then you will know. It’s about trusting yourself and remembering that when we open ourselves up to love in so many different ways that we’ve got to be comfortable with who we are. It’s such a terrible cliche, but we’ve got to learn to love ourselves before we do anything else!

Whether we are finding love in a relationship sense, or we are looking to strengthen connections with people in our lives, learning to love again is about bringing those barriers down. It’s never an easy thing to do because it requires taking a long look in the mirror. And when our heart has been broken, this can mean that we are jumping through various psychological hoops. But the practice of learning to open yourself up is worth it entirely. 

Thank you for reading!

The Obstacles: Learning The Concept Of Loving Again

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