The Boyfriend Chronicles are long overdue, but Will is back again to take over the blog. I think I’m going to have to chime in on this one, so look out for my defense in pink!
Hello again fit and focused friends of Fitful Focus. I’m back again and this month we’re talking women’s fashion. Now, I’m a little embarrassed to mention this, but I have been known to don a wig and some stilettos in the name of Halloween, but this month’s post is not about Halloween costumes – it’s about Maxi Dresses.
This is Will. As a Spice Girl… Scary Spice, obviously…
Now, I’m not sure how many of you know this, but Nicole has never gotten dressed in the morning without me guiding her on what to wear. Every morning she wakes me up at the butt crack of dawn and asks me to pick out her outfit because she knows I have an eye for these sorts of things and she, well, doesn’t. Think she looks good on Fit and Fashionable Fridays? Why thank you, and you’re welcome. It’s even gotten so bad lately that she’s asked me to do her hair and choose the color of her eye makeup (#lies).
I’m happy to do it because I’m a generous guy and because, if she gets fired from work for not looking professional, I can’t pay our rent on my own. But I have to say, there are just some days that I need a break from lining up this girls clothes, so I let her choose what she wants to wear. For instance, every time we go to the airport for a trip, Nicole picks her own clothes because there’s usually so much other stuff going on – and every time, seriously every time, she chooses a maxi dress.
WHY DO MAXI DRESSES EXIST?!?! These things are so unflattering and do not look good on anybody. Now, from a man’s perspective, I should probably like Maxi dresses more just from a purely functional standpoint. They’re soft and non-abrasive and like, there’s really not many other dresses that allow women’s, uhh, stuff, to fall out so easily. The problem is, the dress itself is so long and droopy that any sort of defining curve is muffled out like a tea light in a hurricane. (Whatever, bro. Maxi dresses are amazing. Will has even complimented me on some of mine, but he swears not to remember.)
I have a few friends in fashion design, maybe even one or two that are reading this right now, and I have to ask them – how do these things pass the final design review? I feel like the design manager walked in one day and was like, I need you to design a floor length dress. It can’t cost more than $25, it has to be sexy and you can only draw it with this crayon and a ruler. Go. Oh, and make it sexy by giving it a deep V neck line. Like if you could drop it to the bellybutton and still make it look somewhat classy, that’s what we’re going for. (I’ve never seen a maxi dress like this. What are you saying, fool?) Oh you can’t show any bellybutton? Ok, just make it really hard for the person wearing it to stay composed in that area then.
And then the designers all quit and an intern from accounting was left to do the job.
I’m really not even sure where else to go with this post because my palms are so sweaty thinking about how many people have purchased these things.
Ladies, I love you, and you’re welcome to purchase anything you’d like, but please do understand the above points when considering wearing a maxi dress. They may be super comfortable and all, but you might as well just wear a Toga.
I should let you all know that this whole thing started because I used to have a maxi dress that Will hated. ONE maxi dress. I thought was very flattering, but whatever. While I no longer have said maxi dress (RIP maxi dress, RIP), I will continue to wear others. After all, there’s no way I’m taking fashion advice from this guy:
Maxi dresses: flattering or ugly? The Boyfriend Chronicles weighs in w/this hysterical post!
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Before you weigh in on the maxi debate, be sure to check out the Fit Body Bakery GIVEAWAY!
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Maxis – yay or nay.
