Happy Sunday!"
Today I would like to talk about people who try everything to stay sober but the result is always a relapse or a constant struggle to stay sober. Can it be they are not willing...enough? Can it be they do not understand their disease...enough? Can it be they are not getting sober for the right reasons...enough? Can it be they have not reached their bottom...enough? Can it be they just have not had...enough? Can it be the 12 Step Program is not...enough? When will they have enough? The answer to this is not up to me rather anyone. It is clearly up to the individual. In my experience, when working with girls, I had sponsored in the past...they did not get sober for themselves...PERIOD! They did not get sober for the right reasons...PERIOD! They did not get sober because they allowed their disease to manipulate their true feelings, blocked feelings and painful feelings which in return made them appear they were working the program but really inside they were dying...PERIOD! They denied their true pain and masked it with smiles, jokes and the all so familiar reply of "fine" whenever anyone asked them how they were...PERIOD! They did not do what was suggested by others in there 12 Step program, rather they did what they wanted to do or use the program in order to get court papers signed or perhaps they were pregnant...PERIOD! They did not have the willingness to do the foot work or enough motivation to stay sober...PERIOD! Most importantly, they did not seek outside help for issues such as a death in the family or friend, rape, molestation, abuse, bipolar depression or other types of depression and any other psychiatric issues that the 12 Step Programs are not licensed, have the right or authority to deal and solve for any individual...PERIOD! On the other hand, I have seen and experienced individuals do everything in order to stay sober...so they think...and still end up relapsing or struggling with trying to stay sober. For these individuals, their answers or reasons for using again was expressed with everything I had listed above and then some. Whatever the reasons were they were not taken care of...PERIOD! Whatever the reasons were they had not hit a bottom hard enough to wake up...PERIOD! Whatever the reasons were I was not the one to figure it out, solve it, fix it and save it...PERIOD! Whatever the reasons were I prayed they would find their way back to a 12 Step Program or any way that helped them to stay sober. Some found their way back and some just simply died. I think of the two girls that died, I had sponsored and say a prayer to them. I was never angry over their decisions not to stay in the program...I just simply understood why. I never talked bad about them if they could not stay sober...I just simply understood why. I never judged, preached or lectured them in order for them to stay sober...I just simply understood why. I accepted them...PERIOD! I tried to suggest things to them...PERIOD! I tried to be an example to them...PERIOD! I was there for them...PERIOD! Today, I know when someone is working the program. Today, I know when someone is "not" working the program. Today, I work two 12 Step Programs. I am sober today for all the right reasons...PERIOD! I am sober and free, today...PERIOD! Do you struggle with your sobriety? Do you find yourself sober for so many days or months then end up using again? If so, try using some of the suggestions I had written about that caused so many not to succeed in their sobriety...who knows you may just succeed in your sobriety! Today, I will exercise knowing I had come to the two 12 Step Programs for all the right reasons which has led me to have such a wonderful sobriety!
