Health Magazine

Recovery: Principles Above Personalities in My Recovery!

By Sobrfit3
Written By:  Cathy Shuba
"Happy Monday!"
When I was drinking principles above personalities meant my principles are my personality and anyone who crossed me, corrected me or tried to change me would become my problem.  My needs are more important than yours.  My thinking is better than yours.  My way is better than yours.  My views on life, situations and problems are better than yours.  My need to push my beliefs, views, opinions and judgements about a topic or subject was better than yours.  I would become offended, defensive and angry whenever someone had something different to say.  In other words, if someone had a different perspective on what I was so trained to think or feel, I became defensive.  If someone should ever even think of talking about change or a different way of thinking, I was offended.  If someone had a different experience with something and wanted to share what they have learned or how they dealt with a certain situation, I became judgmental.  Sound familiar?  When I was drinking principles above personalities was not applied in the right way.  Principles above Personalities were not applied in a healthy thinking way.  Principles above Personalities were practiced in a very selfish way without me even knowing or realizing it.  I never realized much when I drank.  I never really cared to realize other things other than what I was going to benefit from, get or come up looking good in any situation.  When I was drinking I never heard of principles above personalities.  I never knew or cared to know anything that meant or sounded like change.  That was a threat to me.  That was uncomfortable to me.  That was scary to me.
When I chose to get sober I chose to attend a 12 Step Program.  I learned many new things.  I learned how to think differently.  I learned the three words mentioned above..."Principles above Personalities."  These three words took a very long time for me to understand, apply them in my life and accept it as what it is.  When I chose to do this and practice this on a daily basis I knew a new serenity, peace and most of all confidence in my own recovery, thoughts, feelings and understandings of myself in general.  Who would of thought that just three words could give me such peace, self confidence and respect for myself.  I no longer have to explain to someone why I felt a certain way.  I never have to defend my recovery just because someone else had a different opinion about it or how I was working it.  I never have to get upset when someone would say something rude or out of line to me.  I never have to get that person to see it the way I see it.  I know that if someone says something that I feel is offensive I have the choice to either engage in it or just let it go and think of those three words...Principles above Personalities.  If I allow myself to engage in it...than that is my fault.  I know today that my spirit is stronger than anyone who tries to bring it down and know in my heart that I am practicing those three words...Principles above Personalities!  I know that when having a Facebook account, Sobriety Fitness blog and Sobriety Fitness group on Facebook that some comments can be offensive, mean and rude at times but yet at the same time I do not need to befriend a friend, engage in an argument and leave a group just because of someone's point of view is different from mine.  If I refuse to look at the whole picture of why I am here and why I have chosen to have a blog, a Facebook account and a group on Facebook, then all would go down the drain just because someone said something I did not agree with or saw eye to eye on.  I am stronger than that and do not feel threaten by words.  Just because we do not see things the same way, doesn't mean the message of theirs or mine is lost.  Just because they are in a different place than I am spiritually, mentally and physically., doesn't mean the message of theirs or mine is lost.  I can accept them.  I can simply HALT!, not react and know those three words...Principles above Personalities!  I will allow myself to see the message...regardless.  That is what Principles above Personalities means!  Furthermore, I know I have choices today.  I know when it is important for me to stand my ground and choose what is best for me by still practicing...Principles above Personalities!  However, if I should forget or become lazy at realizing these three words I will be reminded quickly by the feelings of becoming offended, defensive and angry whenever someone has approached me in a different way.  I know from my experience this is why I become this way.  Today I will choose to practice Principles above Personalities!  Do you have a difficult time with Principles above Personalities?  It's alright if you do...I have known people in a 12 Step program that have over 20 years in and still struggle with this or still do not truly understand the benefits these three words can give you in your life.  Today, I will run knowing that when I practice Principles above Personalities I will always have peace and I will always have a choice to practice these three words and allow myself to have acceptance in my life.  The 12 Step Program taught me Principles above Personalities!
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Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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