People get wrapped up in presenting a perfect life on social media... posting the best pictures of the happiest moments. Oftentimes, those looking in on that perfect life can become jealous thinking that their life should be that perfect too. But the truth is, life is not always perfect.
Yesterday was another bad day for Charlie. It was Father's Day, and I wanted to revisit one of the first hiking trails we had done, in essence recreating the Father's Day hike I had done four years ago in honor of my dad.
It was a rough weekend for me because I had an important job at a friend's wedding on Saturday and couldn't be with my family to help with the final auction to sell the last of my dad's equipment and tools at the homestead. It was a family reunion of sorts and I should probably have been there. But I had made plans already with my friend before the auction was scheduled and didn't feel right changing plans at the last minute. Plus, I felt a little sad seeing the last of my dad's things go and wasn't sure if I could handle being there. And even though I missed out on visiting with family, I know I did the right thing by helping with the wedding instead; it just felt like where I was supposed to be at that particular moment.
But Sunday was going to be a time for myself, to spend hiking with Charlie and remembering my dad.
Unfortunately Charlie had another panic attack. As soon as we arrived in the parking lot of the hiking trail, she began to tremble and shake so badly that there was no way I was going to force her to hike. I could tell she was scared. So, I figured we'd go to another hiking trail on the way home that we've been visiting frequently and that she enjoys. But again, once we arrived to the parking area she was so scared that she dove under my legs and hid down by the gas pedal of the car; she wouldn't leave the car.
I assured her that she was a good girl and we didn't have to hike today but I drove away with tears streaming down my face because I really did want to hike that day. But it wouldn't have felt right hiking without her. Somehow being in the woods by myself doesn't feel right and I miss her when she's not with me.
...
I've been walking by myself a lot lately and can't even take Charlie kayaking with me anymore. She's scared of every noise and just wants to hide in her safe place at home.
I'm not sure what's wrong with her or why she's getting worse with her noise-reactivity and fear, but I decided to seek out some professional help by either getting her some Reiki or acupuncture treatments, or possibly both.
It's hard to believe that I've only been hiking with Charlie a little over 4 years. It seems like we've been hiking together forever. And even though I love being in the woods, I need to have my dog with me to fully enjoy it.
You've probably noticed that I'm not posting up as many adventures as I used to... and that's because we're not having any. I'm sad and worried about this but hoping things will work out and Charlie will come around again.
Life is still good. We're healthy and have everything we need. But it's not perfect. You just have to enjoy the simple things and the magic moments because those are the things that get you through everything else.
