"Happy Saturday!"
This morning I received a message from my friend about a situation she clearly has no control over. This morning I tried to comfort her with my words and my almost same situation I have myself. This morning I realized while writing this message back to her that I still have a lot of anger and resentment towards some people in my life. This morning I realized no matter how many miles I run the feeling will still come back. The feelings of anger and resentment will still come back just hearing there name. The feelings of anger and resentment will still come back no matter how many times I talk about it or write about it. The feelings of anger and resentment will still come back whenever I look at my daughter's SCARS all over her body. The feeling of anger and resentment will still come back no matter how many times I try to avoid these people or isolate from these people. The people I am talking about are my in-laws along with my husbands family that are all meshed together without any strength to think on their own because my father-in-law controls all of them through money, greed, self righteousness, people pleasing, puppet mastery ways of him. Can you feel my anger and resentment? Oh, believe me the list can go on but I must get a hold of myself and say..."What is really going on with me?" I must deal with this head on! I must deal with me! I must deal with the anger and resentment! "How do I do this?" The answer for me is "FORGIVENESS!" I must forgive them by understanding where they are in their lives including my husband. I must forgive them by realizing I can not change anything about them. I must forgive them in order for me to have peace. I must forgive them even if I have to imagine there is a sign on their foreheads that says "SICK!" I must forgive them in order for me to rid this energy sucking negative feeling in my body. I must forgive them in order to have closure of what they did or said to my daughter. On the other hand, I must ask myself...is this a selfish forgiveness? Am I only forgiving so I can feel good or do I really mean it? I must realize that if I do not "really" mean it or believe my reasons for forgiving them than my anger and resentments will still be there. In other words, I must be ready to let go and accept the situation with no strings attached or expectations...I must forgive freely! How do I know if I have forgiven unselfishly? When I see, hear, and have to attend a party I can say Hi! and move on without avoiding them, snubbing them or isolating from family gatherings. I had told my friend that a family party is coming up where they will be there and I told my husband he can go without me. If I chose today to change my attitude and do what I need to do in order to have forgiveness in my heart than on July 4 I will be able to face them with grace, serenity and compassion. Courage to change the things I can! I will have forgiveness in my heart. I will have freedom! Do you still carry resentments and anger towards someone in your life? If so, try dealing with it a little bit each day in order to have forgiveness in your heart. Today, I will run with the intention to rid this anger and resentment by learning how to forgive those in my life. I will have forgiveness in my heart!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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