"Happy Wednesday!"
Today I thought I would talk about enabling. Today I would like to talk about what enabling is. Today, I thought I would talk about how enabling affected me in my life. Today, I want to talk about enabling!
What is enabling?...
en·able
verb \i-ˈnā-bəl\en·ableden·ablingDefinition of ENABLE
transitive verb1 a : to provide with the means or opportunity <training that enables people to earn a living> b : to make possible, practical, or easy <a deal that would enable passage of a new law> c : to cause to operate <software that enables the keyboard> 2 : to give legal power, capacity, or sanction to <a law enabling admission of a state>Information provided by: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/enableIn recovery enabling is described as covering up one's unacceptable behavior, keeping secrets in order to look as though everything is fine, living in denial, protecting one's face or reputation, controlling one's situation, overbearing on one's decision, selfish thinking, self seeking and most of all living a dishonest and unhealthy spiritual, mental and physical life.I lived this life when I was using alcohol and drugs. I used this type of life because I was taught this life. When I enabled myself, the result was negative and uninviting to my soul. I hurt myself, my spirit and my emotional well being. When I allowed enabling of myself I used it to cope, to hide things, to feel in control, to feel powerful and mostly...portray myself as fine and happy to others when I really was not. My enabling behaviors of myself affected me. My enabling behaviors of myself caused me not to deal with the truth. My enabling behaviors of myself caused me discomfort because of lies and my dishonest way of living. My enabling behaviors of myself became stressful and problematic to my spirit and my physical well being. My enabling behaviors of myself caused me to use more. Cover up more! Deny more! Control more! I enabled myself!When I enabled others the result was the same and even more, only I was hurting the other person. I was causing them not to grow, learn and take on their own responsibilities in their own lives. I was causing them not to have their own consequences and mostly causing them not to have a chance to possibly change for themselves, love themselves and accept themselves. I was causing them to continue living the way they were and possibly making it worse for all. I was causing them not to be independent. I was causing them to deny more, control more and not admit to any wrong doing or addiction they may have. I caused enabling to others.When I chose to become sober I chose to do many things in order to change me, my attitude, my way of thinking and mostly my way of looking and loving myself as I do today! Enabling was definitely one area I needed to work on. I needed to work on this in order to be free of anyone's responsibilities, consequences and way of manipulation. I needed to work on this because it did nothing to help me see myself as good for any situation or person in my life. I needed to work on this to allow myself to accept the power of "Letting Go" and realizing I can not fix, change or improve any circumstance from someone else negative behavior. I needed to work on this to know I can only improve and change myself. I needed to work on this in order for me to live a stress free and honest way of living. I am free today from those enabling behaviors and at times I may struggle with it but it is never nearly as much as I once experienced it. Today I stand my ground on how I feel, what is good for me and what is not. I do not have to enable someone, neither would I ever want too. I no longer make excuses for one's unacceptable behavior...I tell the truth! I no longer cover-up one's negative ways...I see it for what it is and choose to be true to myself,...regardless! I mind my own business! I no longer enable myself or others...I am free!Do you struggle with enabling others or even yourself? If so, try to figure out what your pay-off is when doing so...then decide if it is worth it! Today, I will run knowing that I do not enable myself or others in order to feel in control or others and situations. I will run free! I will breakaway!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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