When it comes to adding exercise to your lifestyle, quitting smoking, getting over your ex, or decreasing the amount of chocolate cake you eat, do you cringe? Do you have hope that you can succeed at making these changes? What would it take for you to make lifestyle changes successfully?
There is a reason why it’s so hard to picture yourself making lifestyle changes successfully, or to even stick with them when you do. Even I, as a life coach and fitness specialist, share the same struggles. I’m going through some life changes now, and I want to share them with you, and what I’ve learned through my daily self-discovery work.
Struggling to Make Lifestyle Changes
For a few months now, I have been feeling disoriented, lost, and overwhelmed. I actually hit an early mid-life crisis, where I started pondering where my life was going, how to create a meaningful career that would help me feel significant and fulfilled, and getting motivated to exercise regularly again.
I gained weight; I got depressed a few times; I even slacked off in my business planning. I started feeling powerless, and like I was going crazy. I was so mad at myself because I had no motivation to exercise; me, a fitness trainer had no motivation to exercise. I felt like my life was going nowhere. I felt stuck in my job- I suddenly got the itch to move somewhere and never look back.
Every time I feel that I’m moving forward with business planning and about to make a breakthrough, I get stuck. I start over-analyzing things, not trusting my decisions, and nothing is ever good enough. I’m trying too hard to be perfect…
I couldn’t figure out what was really causing me to get stuck, and then I came across the answer the other night on another self-help blog for aspiring business owners.
What’s Really Going With Me (and probably you too)?
The reason you get stuck in any life change is because your psyche is resistant to change. And you are resistant to change because if you changed and become this new person that the change is calling for, you don’t know how to be this new person.
For me, if my business launch was a success, and I started making all this money, how do I adjust to life as a person who now has more money? Will I really be happier and more fulfilled? Or will I mismanage it and be back at square one?
Uncertainty is a ditch lol… So, how am I learning to get through my life changes?
By understanding the following…
1. Resistance to change is natural, and I have to work through it. It’s not a bad thing- there are messages to be learnt in becoming stuck. For instance, I realized I always have a choice to stay at my job or leave; it’s not that I can’t, but I choose to stay there.
2. Identity what am I resisting: In my case, it’s fear of success, and loss of approval from family; even the fear of being alone and abandoned. Also, being able to appreciate myself as a woman with a higher self-image and self-worth, which is new to me.
3. Getting stuck is like realizing you are on to something. Somehow your heart knows it; now you got to get your head in the game. You’re onto something big; you are about to change your life or someone else’s for the better.
4. I’m having to find ways to release the resistance. In addition to journaling about it, I also talk to others that are close to me about it.
5. I rid my psyche of all negativity by saying “I release ___________________”, and replace with “I am ___________________ (followed by something positive about yourself and your goals).
Now, do you see why it’s so hard to make lifestyle changes?
Summary
The best thing you can do when you feel that resistance to change is to work through it. Keep pushing forward, working on your self-esteem by being kind to yourself, and make it to the other side. Your new life is waiting for you there!
If I can help you in any way, please feel free to contact me!
Pamela Brown
