Just the other day I came up with a blogging schedule for me and I was ready to go on that plan and then today while listening to Immaculate Heart Radio it sunk in. I do not want to blog anymore.It isn't because I don't love to write and share my stories. I do! That is what kept me going so long after I got that first inkling that maybe it is time to stop. I am stopping because I am tired of the games and pressure. I am tired about hearing you need more instagram followers, you should do this, you should do that, you need to engage more, get more creative, have this kind of look, etc. Sure, some of those tips may be well meaning but in all reality, it is a game. I game I despised in high school and a game I do not want to play as a 42 year old adult. Life is not a popularity contest or about what can I get if I do this. Life is about people.
If you have been following my blog for awhile I am sure you have noticed some of my shifting focuses over the past year as I started running for Toby and talking more about my faith. I have goals in my life and I don't want to be pulled off track by games that aren't really going to get me where I want to go. I want to reach my final days knowing that I did good in the world. That I made a positive difference.
For awhile I fooled myself I was doing that through blogging. Sure, I may have touched lives and made a difference but there is the growing undercurrent of that never dying game. There are those non-stop emails of promote this, do this, sell this. And yes, I have hopped onto opportunities that did ring true to my core beliefs. In fact, you will be seeing a couple of more posts from that that fulfill my final commitments because that is the type of gal I am. If I tell you I will do something, I will do it. I have a subscription box to tell you about and by golly, is is the best I have seen to date! And I have a book to tell you about that I am finishing right now and I am thinking that would be the PERFECT final post. I don't want my blog ended on the sad notes of the blogging games. I want to end on a positive note.
That being sad, in my years of blogging, and this is my 999th post, I have met wonderful people. Some in person, some still online. You know if you are one of those wonderful people that truly touched my heart and soul because we are "real" friends on facebook and not just connected through my blog. My blogging journey was part of my life that God laid out for me to follow...I have no doubt. But as my faith grows deeper and my desire to serve Him, I realize blogging is getting in the way. I do not want to feel compelled to check stats, write a post, share an image, etc. I want that time to do bigger things.
I want to pray.
I want to study the bible.
I want to help the hungry.
I want to run more with my daughter.
I want to make a difference in peolple's lives in a more one-on-one fashion.
I want to become more active in the church I belong to. The sisters that have been serving the church for 47 years are leaving. Their numbers are too low and they are stretched too thin. There will be a service gap there. I wonder if I am being called to help out more there.
I want to invest in the relationships in my life. When people come for seasonal visits, I want to spend more time with them. I want to spend more time with darling daughter and have the time to try to crochet her that hat she wants. I am doing it now and she is overflowing with gratitude for just me trying. I want to nurture my relationship with my husband. I love him dearly and he just doesn't feel it.
I need to be a better wife, a better mom, a better servant to God. It is time to stop blogging and move forward and accept the baton God is handing me. It is time to let go of my familiar patterns and do something new. It is time to say "I will".
Once again, I have two more posts to write so I will have time to answer any questions you may have but after that....love and peace to you and God bless!
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for being able to see that it is time to change course in life.
Daily Bible Verse: His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness! ~ Matthew 25:23
