This year I decided to challenge myself to reflect on various Yoga and Buddhist aspects throughout the year. The challenges come from a variety of places including readings in Deborah Adele's Yamas and Niyamas and Thich Nhat Hanh's Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and Happiness.
This week's challenge was to act as if I am complete. That might seem simple to some, but for me I knew it would be interesting. In the past I have struggled with some major self-esteem issues. I've come a long way with them, but they are still kicking around. And the root of all of them stem from not feeling good enough.
One of the things suggested for this week was to not need to be more or less than what I am. I found this challenge permeating my entire week. It was great!
There was a point early in the week when I was tempted to treat one of my students differently than I would treat the rest. I knew this came down to a feeling of needing to accommodate her, needing to change myself to suit the situation. Instead I decided to just be me, act as I would with anyone else, and it went wonderfully.
I often feel awkward when leaving phone messages. I'm not a phone person (much more comfortable with email or text) and voicemail is a one-sided conversation. After leaving an awkward voicemail mid-week, it was very easy to "let it go", rather than dwell, as I reminded myself that I was "just me" on that voicemail and that was all I need to be.
Those are just two examples, but all week I found that it was much easier to let things go, and I felt much more at ease in various situations as I reminded myself that I didn't need to be more or less than me. This gave me a huge boost of confidence throughout the week and I loved it!
