It is funny how a race you have always known about can still sneak up on you so quickly. It seems I went from 3 more weeks 'til race day to 1 more day in a blink of an eye. Am I ready? As ready as I will ever be!I also find it ironic that a half marathon can trigger up more doubts in me than a full marathon. Don't get me wrong, I get jittery and doubtful with the full but half's make me more nervous. I am sure there is a rationale explanation. If you got it, please share! I would love to hear the psychology behind it. But I wonder if it is because I set my goals a bit higher, think I can go a bit faster, have a bit more to prove? And I can't blame the IT band issue a few weeks ago. I have gone into a marathon with a nagging cough and felt confident I would finish. So why do I fear not finishing a half marathon? And I think the proverbial light bulb just went off. If I run marathons and finish then I should be able to run half's and finish. To not finish a half would be more detrimental to one's ego than not finishing a full, right? Does typing that make me feel any better? Nope. Am I going to finish? I have faith.
My Dad, My Hero
Not only do I have faith, I have my Dad. His loss has been weighing heavily on my soul recently. I didn't realize how much until a song came on the radio a few days ago and the sense of loss came rushing to the forefront and it dawned on me why I have been feeling the way I have. Of course, I knew my Dad was on my mind. March 31st marks the anniversary of his entrance to Heaven. Yeah, I have a really hard time using the d word. My Mom has been on my mind. I have sent cards of support, we have talked, and I have been trying to be supportive as I know this is hard with March 31st also being Easter. I was so wrapped up in providing support I didn't realize that my own grief is still so tender. Honestly, I think it will always be that way. And before you think I have completely gone down the wrong road in this post, I am telling you this since tomorrow I will be racing in my Dad's memory. I have done this before for my first marathon. He is always on my mind with each and every run. I may even call out to him that I need his help. But tomorrow I am dedicating my race to him again. I can't think of a better way to run, overcome my fears, battle my perceived weaknesses, and embrace each step I have been blessed to take.I don't know what my race time will be. I would love a PR. I see it as doable with part of the course being downhill. I expect the beach portion to slow me down. And I have faith I will finish just how I am supposed to. I believe I can run strong from start to finish. I plan to start smart. I would love to pull out some negative splits at the end but in all reality, they won't be true negatives as I expect my initial downhill pace will be faster than I usually go out on races. I will have fun. I will savor running outside with other runners. I am excited to see some running friends. And most important, I am ecstatic to see my dear hubby and darling daughter at the finish line.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for the ability to write my thoughts and find my inner peace.
Daily Affirmation: I am going to kick some butt tomorrow!
