Glenn Waterman

LATEST ARTICLES ( 60 )

• Farts in the News, Part 1

  

  If you’ve read this blog with any regularity, there’s a likely-good chance you’ve chuckled now and then. Maybe even snickered a time or two. Read more

  Posted on 27 July 2013 HUMOR

• What Did They Do to My Twinkie?

  

  Is nothing sacred anymore?No Virginia, there is nothing sacred anymore.Walking the aisles of my neighborhood supermarket, I came ’round a corner and there they... Read more

  Posted on 20 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Bye-bye, Slow Mowtion

  

  Yesterday: Grass grows. Man mows. Life sucks.Today: Grass grows. Man mows. Ain’t life grand?Post on FoxNews.com, July 18, 2013:“Honda, in conjunction with Top... Read more

  Posted on 20 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Look Ma, No Can See My Feet!

  

  I just weighed myself on my wife’s new handy-dandy Weight Watchers LED-lit digital bathroom scale. Damn – not only does the thing work well, it might work too... Read more

  Posted on 19 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Staking a Claim to Fame

  

  One of the kids I hung out with during recess in third grade would fold back both of his upper eyelids and then run around grossing out all the girls out on... Read more

  Posted on 17 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Stupid Human Tricks

  

  Late-night TV talk show host David Letterman is being clever with his show’s “Stupid Pet Tricks” segments but the comedian’s actual message is really, it takes ... Read more

  Posted on 14 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• This is a Test …

  

  … of my Emergency Blog Alert System. I haven’t written in so damn long that my social-network-linked new blog alerts may be disconnected. Read more

  Posted on 14 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• God Bless America …

  

  … land that I love … … stand beside her and guide her … … through the night with a light from above … … from the mountains … … to the prairies … … to the oceans... Read more

  Posted on 07 July 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• How Do I Love Thee? Hmmm …. Let Me Get Back to You on That

  

  If I say “The Washington Post,” you might think — big newspaper, watchdog on Washington, D.C., “All the President’s Men.” But how about … funny?Right. Me... Read more

  Posted on 30 May 2013 DATING, LOVE & SEX, RELATIONSHIPS

• We Will Never Forget …

  

  … not then … … not now … … never. Read more

  Posted on 27 May 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Life: Time to Dumb It Down

  

  I never had much use for science when I was in school. At the time I thought it was because I was too dumb. Now I know better.Science is stupid. And worse,... Read more

  Posted on 26 May 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• No Ifs, Ands Or Butts About It

  

  Just read that some French university professor conducted a little experiment on a beach. He sent out onto the sand a group of scantly-clad good-looking women. Read more

  Posted on 25 May 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• FYI: I Lost, So You Lost

  

  I didn’t win the big money in the $590 million-or-more Powerball lottery drawing last night.Hell, I didn’t win the semi-big money, the middling money or the... Read more

  Posted on 19 May 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• There Goes the Neighborhood

  

  I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore …… so I’m going to blow up my house! No, I’m going to blow up your house! No, not that either – I’m going t... Read more

  Posted on 18 May 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Go Potty, Or Get off the Pot

  

  First, I want to say I had no problems being potty-trained as a kid. My mom just opened the door, let me and our St. Bernard out into the backyard and said,... Read more

  Posted on 17 May 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hello Muddah …

  

  Gee, Mom – remember when you told me that a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, I do. Even to this day. Especially today because frankly, I haven’t got a... Read more

  Posted on 12 May 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Oh, Go Kiss a Frog Already

  

  I’ve written about my junk mail before but lately it’s taken over all of my www-reading attention. For a few weeks every time I click open my Junk Inbox I find... Read more

  Posted on 01 May 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Spring Has Dung!

  

  Spring is dung! Da poop has riz! I wonder where my damn lawn is …Yes, it’s that time again. The birds are singing, the daffodils are blooming, the sun is... Read more

  Posted on 26 April 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Don’t Wanna Grow up

  

  Let’s face it – it sucks to be me. It sucks to be you. It sucks to be most of us.Because it sucks to grow old.I’m not talking about the usual reasons. I don’t... Read more

  Posted on 24 April 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Lord of the Dings

  

  I grew up on a farm and though I haven’t lived that way for decades I guess some aspects of the lifestyle never leave you. I’m not talking about raising cattle... Read more

  Posted on 21 April 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION