Humor Magazine

Stupid Human Tricks

By Glenn Waterman

dumb-peopleLate-night TV talk show host David Letterman is being clever with his show’s “Stupid Pet Tricks” segments but the comedian’s actual message is really, it takes a stupid person to teach an animal a dumb trick.

But wait just a minute. Stupid people don’t need no stinking pets to be stupid! No, they just need to, well, all they’ve got to do is … breathe.

Maybe this isn’t as stupid as it would initially appear. If you look closely, you see the man’s wearing rubber boots and is sitting on a plastic tarp. So that makes him insulated and protected, right? Right.
stupid wood
For some people, you can choose to be the handyman, or the brainyman. But ne’er the twain shall ever meet.
Yes sir, the guy with the hatchet is stupid. And the one on the right taking this exercise seriously is really stupid. But what about the soldier in the middle, who’s prepared for what may happen by clamping his eyes shut? Remarkably stupid.
For the sake of this holy person, let’s all say a prayer that while he certainly was dumb, the tiger cub proved to be dumber. Or at the very least to possess the patience of a saint.
As in karate, there are degrees of stupid. One of these three stooges had to think this one up. Make him a black belt, first-degree. The other two had to go along with it. A black belt, second-degree, for each of them. And for all three, let’s award them honorary burns, third-degree. Oh, and the guy in the middle gets extra credit for willingly looking like Jim Carrey.
mowing the hedges
You know, the more I look at this, the more I’m thinking … this isn’t so stupid.

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