So, this is the not-so-funny FFS edition. The one where I nearly kill mah kid and myself. I don't even like stringing those words together in a sentence. It makes me feel sick.
On Tuesday, the baby was crying so much that it was starting to stress me out. I knew she was tired but she was just fighting it so hard and screaming away. No amount of coaxing worked so I put her in the playpen in the lounge room where she was safe and just let her cry and scream away while I retreated into my room and shut the door for a while.
After another 5 minutes or what-seemed-to-be-forever, she finally stopped crying. I took a peek and saw that she had finally fallen asleep on her little baby couch inside the playpen. Mentally & physically exhausted myself, I went back into my room, laid on my bed and started tap tap tapping around on my phone. That's what I do for relaxation or that whole retreat-into-a-different-world thing.
Anyway... after a while... this loud alarm went off. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
I jumped up from my bed, swung my room door open and there was smoke everywhere. EVERY FRIGGING WHERE!!!!! FFS
There was so much smoke through the kitchen, the loungeroom and the hallway I couldn't really see. FFS
It was this damned pot of porridge that I was cooking on very low fire. I had forgotten about it when the baby started throwing her tantrum and crying nonstop.
I shut the fire and ran to check on my poor little baby girl who was still asleep in her playpen in the loungeroom. I was freaked out as she wasn't moving but thankfully, there wasn't much smoke near the ground where her baby couch was.
Meanwhile, the alarm was still going off really loudly.
I woke my baby up and she thought there was loud techno music playing or something and started clapping her hands. FFS
I wish I was as optimistic as she was. FFS
I tracked the sound of the alarm and realised that it was coming from the frigging pantry. THE PANTRY???!!!? FFS (It's not a closed off pantry & was exposed to the smoke)
Turns out the alarm that was sounding was from this brand new smoke detector that Husband had bought few months ago when we moved in but never actually fitted it on the ceiling where it should be. FFS
It was an extra one that I had urged Husband to buy months ago just because I am a paranoid person. FFS
It was just sitting there on one of the shelves in the pantry, random as can be. FFS
Are you serious? So you buy a smoke detector, remove it from the packaging and oh, leave it on a random shelf in the pantry, fingers crossed that it does its bloody job. That is exactly how it should work, isn't it? FFS
I had heaps of scenarios running through my head about the random location of the brand-new-never-actually-fitted smoke detector and I settled on the scenario that Husband had been removing said detector from packaging when he walked past the pantry and went: "OH, CHOCOLATE!". He must have then left the detector there and the rest is history. I am very convinced that was what happened. FFS
Just as a side reminder to my husband since we are on the topic of chocolate
BUT having whinged about random location of detector, it was actually a lucky thing for me. I wouldn't have known what buttons to press or what to do to make the little twerp shut up. As it was sitting there randomly, I was able to grab the little darn thing and chuck it out on the outdoor chair on the verandah. If it had been actually fitted on the ceiling, I would not have reached it as we have high ceilings and I would have very promptly and nicely put, pooped in mah pants as I would have been at a loss of what to do.
It did shut up after a while of enjoying the fresh air out on the verandah. Not FFS
The house smelled of smoke so bad, my baby and I had to escape to the park to have our lunch. FFS
It was right around noon when you know, the weather is usually at its hottest. FFS
We were the only 2 dumb arses sweating in the park trying to have our pathetic homemade sandwiches in the sweltering noon heat, battling feral flies. FFS
I (do not) wonder why no one else was at the park at that time. FFS
The moral of this story is: Sometimes, properly fitted smoke detectors end up not working properly but random smoke detectors sitting on a pantry shelf, very possibly having been sadly abandoned for chocolate, might actually work and save your life. FFS
Yes, how dangerous is that? At the end of the whole episode, I realised that the properly fitted detectors in the other parts of the house didn't even sound!! We are trying to work out why as the batteries on them are full and they seem to test fine.
I do have a soft spot for that special smoke detector. I think it saved our lives or our house at least.
Have a good weekend everyone and stay safe; don't leave your cooking on the stove!!
Linking up with Sarah at dearbabyg.com for FFS Fridays. Hop over to her blog now to read all the other ranty stories for the week.
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