If you haven’t heard, Lou Reed died. He was 71.
When I heard of his passing and his age (we never want to admit just how old we really are, but hearing about an icon of our youth passing and finding out how old their were, well, it is very jarring) I began to think about just how old, or young, he really was. He was only 27 years older than me. As a math major I realize just how small a number 27 really is. It is nothing. It is a flash in the pan, a blink of the eye, and all those other minuscule cliches we have. But then I really started to think about how much younger he was than my parents. My mother is 80 and my father is 86. They have both enjoyed rather long lives and as of their last physicals they are both in fairly good health.
But none the less it made me think about their mortality. The fact that time is not on their sides. Eventually they will shed this mortal coil, and then what? For years I had been a very good Catholic (and don’t get me wrong it is still my religion of choice) and during that time I never questioned the existence of heaven. I assumed that whatever life force a person possesses, it would not just dry up and be gone once a person dies. But after years of my own existence I’m starting to question just that. When flowers die they simply dry up and return to dust. No one knows what happens to that energy, that thing that made them alive.
If I remember correctly from my science classes, energy does not get used up, it simply changes form. It may go from inert to kinetic, but it doesn’t go away. So does that support or disprove the existence of heaven? I really don’t know. I have had my own near-God experiences and for years I was doubt free. But memories fade and real, every day life takes over. Those certainties I had as a 20 something have turned to questions.
So Lou Reeds death has helped me to realize (even if it is for a very brief time) that life is short. That we have absolutely no idea what waits for us on the other side, or even if there is an other side. I want to advocate for doing those things you love so very much. Enjoy life, because what if this is it? What if there is nothing more? I want no regrets when I close my eyes for the very last time. I want to know that I loved life.
