Diet & Weight Magazine

Recovery: Proud to Be Me!

By Sobrfit3
Written By:  Cathy Shuba
"Happy Monday!"
When I was drinking I was proud of how many drinks I could handle.  When I was drinking I was proud to think I needed no one.  When I was drinking I was proud that I never asked anyone for help.  When I was drinking I was proud that I could party all night and still make it into work on time, pay my bills and feel as though I had it all under control.  I had false pride!
When I went to my first AA meeting I chose to go to a midnight meeting in hopes that no one would recognize me.  I felt embarrassed.  When I first attended meetings I sat in the back of the room and said little to nothing.  I felt as if I was a failure.  When I had a problem I still held it in and chose not to share.  I felt weak.  Months went by and I eventually got a sponsor, shared at meetings and helped out whenever someone needed me.  I began to have faith and hope.  Years went by and I gave many leads and shared many stories and listen to others as well.  I began to allow myself to listen, grow and mostly learn about myself, my needs, my wants.  This allowed me to understand things or people I do not want in my I call them toxic people, places and things.   I began to have self worth!  I began to trust myself in my decisions and limits with things in my life and when doing so, this allowed me to find a balance.  I began to see the gray area so clearly.  I began to have clarity!  I began not to struggle with things as I once did.  I began to know me!  I began not to depend on others as I once did.  I depended on me, myself and I.  I began to see myself as important, loving, caring and mostly honest with all who were in my life.  I began to love me!
My pride in myself today is so different as to how I looked at myself when I was using.  My pride is humble!  My pride is loving, unselfish and pure!  I am proud of myself that I have a loving, understanding and accepting recovery.  I am proud of myself in knowing I am a good, responsible and a dedicated mom to my children.  I am proud of myself on being a good wife.  I am proud of myself for being a good friend and family member.  I am proud of myself when I say "NO" and feel no need to explain myself, rationalize or justify my reasons in saying so.  I can say NO!  I am proud of myself for no longer being a door mat to other people's issues.  I am proud of myself for standing up for my rights, beliefs and how I feel at times.  I respect myself!  I am proud of myself knowing that it is alright to ask for help when I need it and actually asking for it.  I can ask for HELP!  However, I am human and my pride sometimes can be negative, but I am alright with that.  I am not suppose to be perfect rather progress to something that can be better than a week ago, a month ago or even a year ago!  I no longer beat myself up!  I am proud of myself for choosing to become sober, true and full of love.  I am sober today!  I am proud of myself knowing I have a great attitude on life no matter what.  I am proud of myself no matter what!
Today, are you proud of yourself?  If so, name some things that make you feel that way about yourself!  Today, I will run knowing how proud I am that I can be and do anything I set my mind too.  I am proud to be me!
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Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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