Food & Drink Magazine

Putting It Out There

By Fitnspicy @fitnspicy

I am a pretty private person that has been working on being more open. While it seems like an oxymoron too have a blog and be a private person I don’t usually blog about personal details of my life. But I woke up this morning and felt the need to write and just put it out there. It could be the fact that I am feeling horrible today with congested sinuses, a sore throat and kind of achy or it just could be that I am having a particularly hard day.

Putting It Out There

The fact is that we will never have kids naturally. And I know people say "oh just relax and it will happen someday". I am sorry to say that it will never ever happen for us without significant medical intervention. I get tired of pretending I am happy when I feel pretty miserable inside. Don’t take that as not being happy for others who have kids or are expecting, I am, it just makes it harder some days. What makes it even harder is that there isn’t a ton of support for what we are dealing with. Most of the groups and blogs and forums out there are for women and we don’t have a female related issue. So we suffer in silence because most friends and family don’t understand (and it’s not because they aren’t trying, its hard to understand something you have never experienced).


So now we have to decide what we want to do. I am not comfortable with nor are we interested in spending $15-25K to do IVF. So that leaves with one option that has 10-20% success rate. Not great in this crazy Type A planner’s book. It doesn’t help to have insurance plans designed by middle aged men with no infertility coverage because why would people need that??

We went to a clinic had a bucket load of testing done, which just confirms what we already knew. It is not a female issue. But… I can’t get pregnant alone so we look into our options. We just had a few more tests done are waiting for the results and can make a decision from there.

eventually infertility necklace

What I know:

  • We may do a few rounds of a less invasive non medicated option. And may is the key word.
  • We will not do IVF
  • This will not become who we are. Yes it is something we are dealing with but I refuse to let this dictate my life.
  • If we don’t end up having kids it will take some re framing of what our life looks like but I know without a doubt we will be ok. I have dealt with more in my 32 years than a lot of people ever experience in their entire life. And I am incredible strong. It may not be what we want but it is what we have to deal with.
  • And I didn’t get married to just have kids, I got married because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Scott. That hasn’t and will never change. 
  • I will allow myself the right to remove myself from situations that hurt, the idea of going to a baby shower right now kind of makes me want to kick someone in the shin. But that will go away eventually. 
  • There is hope. I am a realist so this one is hard for me but to make it through some days you need it. And I have a pretty fantastic support system to help me get through it.


Inspirations during the battle of infertility


So I am putting it all out there this morning.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • What I Wore: Chico’s So Slimming Juliet Pants

    What Wore: Chico’s Slimming Juliet Pants

    I told you that you'd see these pants again very soon! These are the So Slimming Juliet Ankle Pants from Chico's. Chico's reached out a bit ago and asked me to... Read more

    10 hours, 36 minutes ago by   Wardrobeoxygen
  • A Little Time with Apple Watch Series 4

    Little Time with Apple Watch Series

    Over the past 3 years, I’ve authored some of my most in-depth blog posts about each successive version of the iconic Apple Watch since it revolutionised the... Read more

    10 hours, 54 minutes ago by   Fitnessontoast
  • Writers on Location – Amanda Huggins on Japan

    Writers Location Amanda Huggins Japan

    Welcome to the first guest post of the new season, a special one in several ways. It’s the first time Japan has featured in my Writers on Location series, and... Read more

    11 hours, 21 minutes ago by   Isabel Costello
  • Celebrating Gorillas at “the Best Kwita Izina Ever!”

    Celebrating Gorillas “the Best Kwita Izina Ever!”

    Rwanda’s gorilla naming ceremonyGorilla tracking is said to be a “once in a lifetime” experience yet I love this primate encounter more and more each time... Read more

    11 hours, 22 minutes ago by   Diaryofamuzungu
  • Rock’n’Roll Philadelphia 5K Race Recap

    Rock’n’Roll Philadelphia Race Recap

    Kickstart your fall racing season by running a music-filled race in a rockin’ city. Learn all about it in this Rock’n’Roll Philadelphia 5K Race Recap. Read more

    12 hours, 36 minutes ago by   Fitfulfocus
  • I Wanna Try Everything - Ariel is 4!

    Wanna Everything Ariel

    I know I am very slow in keeping up with all these precious growing up videos of the kids, like how this one took me over a year and a half just to complete, bu... Read more

    13 hours, 35 minutes ago by   A Happy Mum
  • Bhutan Tourist Attraction for Family Tour

    Bhutan Tourist Attraction Family Tour

    Bhutan is one of the most amazing places in the world that one can visit for a family vacation. This place is also known by the name of the land of smiles... Read more

    14 hours, 32 minutes ago by   Sharp Holidays