Yep, I am tardy for LungLeavin' Day. Officially it was yesterday. My adult version to "my dog ate my homework" is "I had a race to direct". The thing is, I know that is a pathetic excuse. Yes, I had a half marathon, 10K, 5K, and 2.5 mile race to direct on the 31st of January BUT I also knew about LungLeavin' Day before then, committed to sharing it on the 2nd, and flopped. It completely escaped my mind in the final hours even though I thought more than once to write the post and schedule it. You see, I am an adult and should have done just that.But instead of hiding behind a curtain and pretending none of this happened, I owe it to Heather Von St. James, myself, and you to write this post today. Perhaps two days of awareness could be good?
I am so happy Heather reached out to me to tell her story, not once, but twice. I am also glad I took a minute to go look at the LungLeavin' Day page as this interactive page sucked me right in. You see, Heather was diagnosed with mesothelioma 9 years ago and was given 15 months to live. Can you imagine getting that news shortly after your child was born? Well, that is what happened to Heather. How devastating!
Heather had her lung removed and the night before the surgery, Heather along with her family and friends wrote down their fears on a plate and smashed them into a bonfire in their backyard. The day was named LungLeavin' Day and the name has stuck and has grown globally as a day to remind us to overcome our fears.The fears don't just need to be life threatening to matter. We all have fears that really should be written on a plate and smashed. Living under the burden of fear does no one any good at all. And no fear is petty. If it is something that has its teeth locked into you, it is something worth verbalizing, writing down, and smashing.
What are my fears? I have a couple that keep revealing their nasty faces to me.
One, financial stability. I am not asking to be wealthy and to have a huge house but to just be able to provide for my family without worry. December our electric bill went up $100 (probably due to Christmas lights, cooking, baking, no school, and running a space heater) and that $100 extra has been weighing heavily on me while I struggle other elements of our budget to make ends meet. I see all the blessings in our life and need to let go of my fear of not being able to make ends meet. I am smart, proactive, and have faith...well, most days I have faith. Some days, I succumb to the fear.
Two, abandonment. Yep, I have a fear of being abandoned or left if I am not "perfect". This can cause relationship strife when dear hubby's tactic is to walk away or go somewhere else when things get difficult. I understand his coping strategy and that having quiet time to think can help conflict resolution; unfortunately, it triggers up a lot of irrational fears within me. By the time he comes back ready to discuss things, I am in no state of mind to discuss things and conflicts are never appropriately resolved. They fester. I need to let go of my fear of abandonment. Some may say it is normal for an adopted child but still, no excuses, I need to let go of that fear. It is not doing me, or dear hubby, any good.
After typing this I am tempted to go purchase a couple of inexpensive plates, write down my fears, and smash them. Or perhaps I should just write them on paper and light them on fire and save a few cents. Although, the smashing of plates sounds fun and then I could use the shattered remains in an art project. Perhaps make a stepping stone to always remind me that I can smash my fears!
Mahalo Heather for sharing your story and showing your strength of courage. I hope to share in your story next year and for many years to come.
What fears tie you down?
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful Heather shared her story.
Daily Bible Verse: Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" ~ Hebrews 13:5-6
