Yesterday was a down. Just worn out tired down. Enough of the irritability and hormonal fluctuations I can't even run 2 miles down. But I got to love the outpouring of Daily Mile support!
I think it is human tendency to tell the good stories. The stories of strength and inspiration. No one really wants to tell the stories of when they felt weak...except perhaps a few and I am one of those silly women who do like to share those stories as well.
Life can be hard and full of challenges. Some you put on yourself. Some other forces put on you. I make it a habit to look for and recognize the daily blessings in my life but I am only human and sometimes, I get overwhelmed. I have been worried about a friend and it has been taking its toll of me. It was interfering with my sleep in the form of nightly bad dreams until I said, enough is enough. I can't worry about things I have no control over. Yes, my concern is still there but I can't let it consume me so much. Add this worry to normal hormonal fluctuations and my irritability was mounting and I didn't even want to be with me. Plus, stress leads to itchy painful outbreaks for me. A change needed to take place. I needed to get back to me. I need to be a good mom. I needed my inner peace.
And I ran less. Usually I run more when I am stressed but yesterday my gut said, just call it a wrap. Rest. It is okay. Don't worry about your plan. You will hit your target miles. You are okay. Rest. And I did. If you consider resting cleaning up, making lunches, making dinner, etc. But hey, life doesn't stop just because Mom is tired.
After getting darling daughter to bed I tried to hang out with dear hubby but I was tired. I went to bed early thinking if I fall asleep right now I will get a good 7 hours of sleep before running before work. Fingers crossed for no bad dreams. My dreams were normal. Darling daughter was coughing. I didn't have uninterrupted sleep and when my alarm went off right before 4:00 am, I silenced it, changed the time for another hour, and rolled back over. Yes, I chose to sleep a bit more. I needed it.
Sleep is healing. With the normal life and running stresses I need x-amount. Add in additional stressors, I need more. My body needed a chance to heal and recover from last week. I need sleep to fight the outbreak. Did it work? Yes. I am feeling much better. I am confident I can run 4-6 miles, as planned, after work at home. Running on the incline treadmill isn't my favorite. My pace is slow. It takes so long. But I will do it and I have a feeling I'm going to love it!
Last night's sleep has changed my perspective. I feel stronger and ready to conquer the challenges of the day. My friend....I am still worried about her but I have to have faith that a stronger force will help her overcome her challenges. I can be there for her. I can pray. But the battle is hers to fight, not mine. I did what I can do and have to remember this is one of those times for the Serenity Prayer to take a stronger presence in my life.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for pleasant dreams.
Daily Affirmation: I have the power to be the change I want to see!
