Health Magazine

Having More Children When You Have Children with Special Needs

By Joysautismblog @joysautismblog

When you have children with special needs like our family does I think it makes the decision to have more children infinitely more difficult. Our chances of having another child on the autism spectrum, I think, are extremely high. Frankly, 75% of our children have issues. I’m almost positive Lincoln will be diagnosed on the spectrum, Sanura very mildly on the spectrum, and Adrian very much on the spectrum. Our chances just aren’t that great to have a neurotypical child.

So I’m sure there are some people, perhaps many people who want to ask but are too polite to ask “Why would you have more children when you have children with special needs?”

If there is anyone who understand the seriousness of autism like Adrian’s autism it’s me and my husband. It’s terrifying. I don’t know what his future will hold but then again, no parent knows what any of their children’s futures hold anyway.

I find myself thinking about the new baby, hoping it’s a girl so our chances are better for not having autism to deal with, or at least hopefully having a higher functioning autism to deal with. I find myself thinking about all the things I can do to “prevent” the autism. I’ve found myself much more emotional about autism whether that’s fear that the new child will have autism or if it’s hormones I don’t know.

I can answer why we’d want more. Each of my children have been a blessing to me. I love getting to know each of their little personalities. Autism hasn’t made my quality of life low, it hasn’t made Adrian’s quality of life low, it hasn’t made Sanura’s quality of life low. Adrian is a happy boy, Sanura is a happy young lady. Does autism present me with difficulties? Of Course! Does it make me feel depressed at times? Of course! As a mother can autism break my heart? Of Course! Is Adrian worth it? Without a doubt. Is Sanura worth it? Without a doubt. Will the new baby be worth it if there is some disability? Absolutely.

The Lord will send me exactly the child I was meant to have and God doesn’t make mistakes.

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