Doing All I Can My Child With Autism
This post is prompted by something a therapist said to my husband and I. She told us that she doesn’t usually meet autism parents like us. That often they don’t even see the mom, because the child is usually in some sort of day care, and they never see the father. Then Larry and I started hearing a lot of other talk, about how unusual it is to have both parents attend the IEP meetings, to be involved in parent teacher conferences and to be part of the PTA. How rare it is to have a parent get involved in their child’s exercises or lessons to help with their autism. I thought this was really strange. See, my parents brought me up to believe that my child or children are the most important things in my life. Really. The most important. That the children are the core of the family and that I was to do everything I could to support and help my child. Of course most people think they will have a healthy child without problems and so raising their child should require a normal amount of effort. That scenario did not play out for me, so that meant that I needed to put forth a greater effort, but never give up.
That isn’t easy for me. I’m not a “never give up” kind of girl. I don’t take too many things too seriously, I guess I mean that if it isn’t really important, I didn’t care if I quit or finished. I know, not the best attitude, but it is who I am. But if something is important, truly meaningful, I’ll stick it out to the bitter end. I’ll give it my all, even if I want to quit, throw in the towel and gather my ball and go home. I won’t. I’ll keep plugging along, I’ll do the right thing every time.
Years ago someone I trusted told me I was a weak person. It really hit me hard. I assumed they were correct. I wasn’t strong, I had a weak constitution, I couldn’t be counted on at critical moments. But after having Matthew I found out just how wrong they are. I’ll always do the right thing no matter how hard it is, because it is important and it is right. So when it comes to helping Matthew (or my other boys) I will be there in the trenches, fighting with all I have. Because they are that important. Of course I wish I didn’t have to make crazy food, or give him unusual medicines. I get so tired going from therapist to therapist, always searching for the next person to help him with his latest problem, because autism really is like a tangled mess of chains. You are always uncovering another knot that you didn’t know existed and are always needing another tool to help you untangle the mess. I hate to have to worry about what his future with hold if I don’t figure this next step out. But it doesn’t mean I should give up, that I shouldn’t try. Of course it is hard. Nothing important is ever easy. And what could be more important than your child. Not One Darn Thing.
