Body, Mind, Spirit Magazine

Dear Troll

By Anytimeyoga @anytimeyoga

Content note for wishes of violence.

Did you really just try to leave a comment here that said:

Fatty, you deserve to die LOL

For starters, death is the culmination of — to the best of my knowledge, at any rate — every human life. Whether it’s something any of us “deserves,” it is something we will all experience. This is true regardless of genetics, diet, fitness, activity level, stress, substance uses or abuses, or body size.

I mean, when he was thirty-four, my dad’s best friend died in a car accident. When she was thirteen, a classmate of mine died in a coma sustained in a house fire some time earlier. The summer I turned nineteen, I was raped. I spent some moments that night sure I would die and some indeterminate time thereafter thinking I had.

I have grown up believing that each moment of life is precious. That, while death is inevitable for all, this time I have in life is beautiful. This time I have in life matters.

Perhaps it is your belief that my particular death would be sufficient fodder for the lulz? Because, really, that is what is in your own comment: a “LOL” at the idea of someone’s death.

Please tell me — how is this a reflection upon me? Is it not so much more a reflection upon you and the callous way you view life?

Perhaps there are lives you view as less worthy. Lives whose ends bring you some degree of glee.

Perhaps not — in which case, you would do well to retract the statement with this implication. I have never known a death so gleeful that it did not bring sadness and grief — profound, sustained grief — to someone.

If yes — Perhaps you would do best to examine why you view some human lives worth less and some worth more.

Which brings me to my final point. Is my death worthy of “LOL”s because I am a “fatty”? Really? Really?

Ignorant of my desire to live, my life habits, my contributions to society, my fucking integrity as a whole and complete human being — you will actively wish my death? Because of a number on a scale? Or a certain amount of adipose tissue?

You, um… need some perspective. Get out more. Interact with real people. Young people. Old people. Rich people. Poor people. People with disabilities. People whose bodies bear a different relationship to their overall self-worth than the one you think they should have.

My body is not worth less. My mind is not worth less. My soul is not worth less. My life is not worth less.

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