Body, Mind, Spirit Magazine


By Anytimeyoga @anytimeyoga

Lately, I have been going to one particular yoga class. It is a vinyasa yoga class and while it is not specifically designed as a hot yoga class… well, it is Tucson in the summer. So it’s basically hot, sweaty, vinyasa yoga without the branding and for cheaper. I love the class — when I’m not cursing chair pose under my breath — but all the same, I am jealous.

Jealous of the two regular guy students who arrive in class and promptly strip off their shirts like, “Of course this is socially acceptable here.”

Jealous of the regular woman student who nonchalantly favors strappy, cut-out crop tops.

Not, mind you, because any of these people are doing anything wrong; they’re not.

Rather, I am jealous because at home, I practice is shorts — not gonna lie, sometimes men’s athletic boxer briefs — and a sports bra. I’ve gotten comfortable in this attire, to the point where, during the warmer months — which, in Arizona, is the majority of the year — any more clothing feels cumbersome. Left to my own devices, I’d bring an extra towel to wipe the sweat from my belly and my back rather than wear the extra moisture in the form of a soggy shirt.

Only, I’m not sure I can do this in the studio.

Rather, I’m not sure I can do this in this studio — where I am often one of the biggest people in any class — and have it be a non-issue like I’d like it to be. You know, the way it is for these other people. Thinner people.

I realize, of course, that I can’t truly predict how folks at this studio would respond. Maybe no one would care.

Except, of course, I have ample personal experience to suggest that people would not, do not respond to my fat, shirtless body the same way they would respond to similar clothing choices made by someone thinner.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a generic comment that a fat person “can’t get away with” a more revealing item of clothing, this would be a non-issue. Because I’d be able to afford private sessions at a studio.

There are magazines and websites and television shows designed to tell people how to obscure their bodies — in part, to ask that fat people please not have the gall to look so damn fat.

I’ve heard personal acquaintances say that bigger people, specifically when pursuing athletic endeavors, shouldn’t wear short shorts or anything midriff baring.

I’ve been verbally and physically harassed for running in just my sports bra (and shorts and shoes).

I’ve had people with my own body type and size say that “we” can’t make these clothing choices — and expect me to agree.

I have not even counted the pairs of raised eyebrows.

So if I’m concerned about pushback — even in a place where I otherwise feel pretty safe and secure in my body — I have reason. While I fully understand that body and clothing policing happens to a variety of people for a variety of reasons and that no one is immune — the reality is that, in this particular case, if you subtracted ten from my clothing size, fewer eyebrows would raise.

And I think that is what I am most jealous of: the ability to pass unnoticed. To have my personal choices remain as such, rather than being seen as sociopolitical statements or as a potential affront to the people who “have to look at” me. It is not a pleasing thing to realize that my body is often viewed as either an offense or a curiosity.

Still, I grow tired of being jealous. Of not jumping fully into the game of my life. Of settling for “good enough” or second best. One day, I will wear whatever the fuck I want to yoga class. And if anyone’s eyebrows want to raise, they will be more than welcome to keep their eyes on their own damn mats.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Vivo V9 With iPhone X Like Notch, 19:9 Display And 24-Megapixel Front Camera...

    Vivo has announced its latest flagship smartphone the Vivo V9 in India. The Vivo V9 comes with a near bezel less 6.3-inch Full HD+ (2280×1080) display with... Read more

    9 hours, 39 minutes ago by   Gadgetscanner
  • Don't Forget… #ClocksGoForward

    Don't Forget… #ClocksGoForward

    Don't forget that the clocks go FORWARD tonight… In Covent Garden… In Soho cafés… In Soho churches… In Fleet Street… In Forest Hill… A London Walk costs £1... Read more

    9 hours, 41 minutes ago by   Lwblog
  • Opera Review: Ghosts Busted

    Opera Review: Ghosts Busted

    The Met brings back Lucia di Lammermoor. by Paul J. Pelkonen Crazy for feelin' so blue: Olga Peretyatko-Mariotti (center, covered in blood) as the bride of... Read more

    10 hours, 55 minutes ago by   Superconductor
  • Album Review: Nora Jane Struthers and the Breakfast of Champions

    Album Review: Nora Jane Struthers Breakfast Champions

    Nora Jane Struthers first surfaced on my radar many years ago at the Bristol Rhythm and Roots Reunion as a bluegrass performer and her album Carnival was the... Read more

    10 hours, 58 minutes ago by   Winecompass
  • And the Spring Cleaning Begins . . .

    Spring Cleaning Begins

    Even though there's still snow in the shady places, it's feeling like Spring and that urge to clean has come upon me. I know, I should fight that urge, but we'l... Read more

    11 hours, 58 minutes ago by   Vickilane
  • Vanilla Poached Plums

    Vanilla Poached Plums

    I got a really good deal at the grocery shop the other day on some plums. A whole punnet for only 25 pence! How could I resist! We love plums! Read more

    13 hours, 58 minutes ago by   Mariealicerayner
  • Metropolitan Opera Preview: Luisa Miller

    Metropolitan Opera Preview: Luisa Miller

    Placido Domingo returns (but not as the tenor lead) in Verdi's opera. by Paul J. Pelkonen Soprano Sonya Yoncheva (seen here in Otello) sings the title role in... Read more

    14 hours, 8 minutes ago by   Superconductor