Autism Recovery
As Good Friday is in full swing and Matthew’s latest ATEC has dropped to a 1 I ask myself could God really have relieved our burden? Has He brought us this miracle, through all our hard work, on the day Jesus took our sins so many years ago?
I have struggled with my relationship with God for several years now. I often felt like He didn’t hear me, or worse, that He didn’t care. I was jealous of people with healthy children. I felt jilted and robbed. My heart ached for my son and I feared for his future life. Especially when Larry and I would not be able to care for him later in life. We worked to very hard, but I know that God sent me signs, pushed me in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe God walked in one day and blessed Matthew and he was healed. No, I think God gave me the opportunities but our whole family had to take them. Sometimes we listened and sometimes we got it wrong. But it wasn’t like turning on a light switch. No, it was a path, a journey, that we had to take. We had to be faithful and observant, and we had to listen.
I don’t know if this is the end. I hope it is. But I am listening to sounds I never thought I would hear; I am listening to ALL my son’s playing nicely, and appropriately. I watched his ATEC score drop to it’s lowest ever. (the lower the better!) I feel different today too. Something profound has changed. I can’t name it, and maybe I don’t even want to name it. But I think, I really think, we have crested the mountain. Oh my God! I don’t even know what to feel at this moment. So I’m crying. Yeah, I cry a fair amount. But to think, just possibly, that Jesus took this burden away with him today, well it is what miracles are made of.
Happy Easter my friends.
