As moms, it can be hard to watch your kids push their limits at times especially when you know some of those limits can come at a cost to their personal safety. Okay, this isn't a mom-only thing. Dads are the same and in fact inside I laugh at how protective dear hubby is over darling daughter. I thought I was the over-protective one! But if it wasn't for me being determined to raise a strong and confident young lady, and my faith in God PLUS amazing prayer circles, I seriously just may have darling daughter wrapped up in bubble wrap. Just kidding, y'all! Although, knowing darling daughter she would LOVE rolling around in it making it pop.But it isn't easy letting go of the reins especially when you see the fear in your child's eyes.
But fear shouldn't stop us every single time it creeps up. Yes, it has a time and a place but often our minds use fears to hold us back and that, my friends, is not a good thing.
But here is a good thing -- a mom that pushes her limits. A mom that overcomes fears and challenges herself. Moms, your kiddo's see you and are watching you. The good and the bad. They will model you.
Are you living a life that you would be proud they followed?
I wish I didn't vent as much as I do and that is something darling daughter has picked up. I am working on that and we will work on that together.
However, it isn't all doom and gloom.
She sees me working myself and hears me say "I can't do this!" and I continue to push play and do the impossible. Then she gets to tell me, "I knew you could." when I exclaim "I did it!". When you are doing Insanity those "Are you kidding me?!" and "No way can I do this!" come out at times but then with work and persistence, the impossible becomes possible because y'all, "Impossible" is "I'm possible" when you really think about it.
And your kids are watching.
The other day darling daughter eagerly walked into horse and her extreme excitement turned to fear when she saw who she was riding. She came to me, tears in her eyes, and said she wanted to leave RIGHT NOW because she was riding Kai. The 10,000' high horse!
I immediately tried to reassure her and reminded her she has been on Kai before and that her instructor would NEVER put her on a horse she didn't believe she was fully capable of riding and that I had faith in her and that all would be fine. There was no convincing her because a fearful mind has a really hard time hearing. I had to be the tough mommy and use my "don't mess with me, listen to me" voice and told her to get ready to ride. It took a few repeats but eventually she got into action...but was not a happy camper.
What does a mom do when she sees this unfolding? Texts the instructor NOT to get a horse change but to let her know the state of mind of my kiddo and reinforce I believe she will have an AMAZING lesson but to be ready for a resistant mind. Then I reached out to social media and some close friends to get a prayer circle as I offered up my own prayer, Please God, keep her safe and let this end well. Give her strength and courage.
One of the older riders gave darling daughter a pep talk too and reminded her we don't always get to ride who we want but each horse offers us a lesson. Focus on what we can learn. Darling daughter listened but was still....well....grumpy from fear.
She broke down into tears as she put the bridle on and it was so hard to watch her go off but she did and that my friends, takes courage. But her courage didn't stop there. I knew there was still going to be a battle in the arena. She is in the trot, canter, jump class. Her last time cantering on this horse is what had her scared to the core. Nothing bad happened. The horse got fast, she got scared, but she didn't fall. But she has. Many times. Most times from a pony and a couple of times from a horse --- a smaller horse.
It is so hard to watch you child go out with such a large animal knowing that she is scared and knowing she needs to keep her head on straight for her own safety. There are dangers associated with equestrian activities. I had to sign the waiver. There are constant reminders this is a risky sport and that is my precious baby!!!!
But I have faith in her. I trust her instructor. I LOVE her instructor. I have confidence and believe riding is what God is calling darling daughter to do. I KNEW this the first time I saw her on a pony and that has a story behind it but let's save that for another day.
So...she got on the horse and did the warm up walk, starting to trot when asked (although very slowly), and then the words came that I feared. "Pick up canter."
Will she do it?
Will she say she doesn't want to?
I watched along with another child's father and our eyes were focused on her and guess what? She picked up canter!!!!!
I was so proud of her and honestly started crying my eyes out as I grinned from ear to ear with my hands clasped in joy. She was doing it! My brave angel was doing it!!!!!
But I knew it wasn't over. There was still more lessoning to do and I wondered what would happen at the jumping time.
And it came. When asked who would go first all the kids sat with their arms down (there were 4 in the lesson that day). Darling daughter usually, okay, almost always, raises her arm to say me! She LOVES to go first. But she sat there and looked so small in the saddle and then it came, the instructor picked her to go first.
Oh nelly....will she go? Logically, I was glad she was chosen to go first so she could get it done so fear didn't mount too much but will she resist?
She went, she jumped, and she stayed on!
When she was asked to go again, she jumped and she stayed on.
She was proving to herself she could do it. One jump at a trot. Canter away. Success (kinda sorta as she wants to improve form).
Then it was the same jump plus a jump line. I got distracted and caught the end of this and she did it but got spooked on the line. Her instructor told her to do it again. She didn't want to and said as much. Her instructor insisted and told her to go. She started off and then starting sobbing on her way to the first jump. Her instructor told her to stop crying and focus. She did! She immediately pulled herself together (praise God!) and did the jump and jump line and finished with a HUGE smile.
The perfect ending to a lesson. But wait, there was more. Her instructor had her do the single jump just one more time...just because. She did and she was beaming with joy. She even asked to do the line one more time. Her instructor said, "Not today." and I am glad. Let's finish on a happy note. She is tired and the last time she asked to do something one more time the form slipped.
My gem is strong and courageous and inspires me to push myself. I love our mutual inspiration and what made me cry later was when we did thankful turkeys on what we are thankful about each other the first thing she wrote was,...I am thankful for you, Mom, because you inspire me to keep going.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful her lesson ended well.
Daily Bible Verse: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13
