Beautiful on the inside
Matthew has truly been a challenge lately. He has been fighting with his brothers, arguing with us and generally just not listening. Although he has made great strides in the right direction these “regressions” are really hard to deal with. Or maybe they are so hard to deal with because he has made such progress and we just aren’t used to this type of behavior like we used to be. But either way, it has really started to grate on my nerves.
Sunday mornings are traditionally my husband’s day to sleep in (he gives me Saturdays) so I try to be ready when the boys wake up. This past Sunday I jumped out of bed as soon as they started talking and asked them to get dressed and stay in their room until I came and got them. I do this every Sunday morning. But this Sunday Matthew got upset because his book light broke and he came barging into our bedroom demanding my husband fix the light. I hadn’t finished dressing or getting my teeth brushed and my make up on, but I bounded out of my bathroom and ushered the boys back into their bedroom and quickly closed the doors to try to let my husband sleep. I was angry with Matthew for not respecting his father’s rest and for not listening to my requests. This is a very typical problem in our home; Matthew has trouble following directions especially if they are counter to what he wants (and yes, all kids are like that to some extent, but autistic children suffer from a much more severe case of it). So I was explaining to Matthew and his brother that I was angry with them for bothering their dad while he was trying to sleep and for making it so that I could not brush my teeth or put on my make up. After a few minutes of discussion, Matthew says to me “Mom, it isn’t your make up that makes you beautiful. It is what is inside you that makes your beautiful, and you are beautiful to me, mom.”
I looked at him and all my anger melted away. Who can be angry with their child when, at 7 years old, he tells you that you are beautiful to him not because of how you look but because of how you are on the inside. He said I was beautiful on the inside. Does someone so young even know these things? Sometimes I wonder if he isn’t really just and old soul in a young body, a body that doesn’t work exactly the way it should. But wow, the things this boys says and knows.
So remember it isn’t the make up that makes your beautiful, you are beautiful on the inside. Stay Well.
