Friday I went for the allergy testing my primary care physician advised me to do to identify the cause of the "anaphylactic shock" in Texas. I was nervous about going not for what may happen but for the tests showing nothing and not being able to explain what happened to me in Texas. I even told the allergist such as we both discussed how unlikely it is to develop an allergy to something I have been eating all my life and that my experience didn't truly fit the symptoms of anaphylaxis. I knew all this. I agreed. It made no sense.
I opted for the full panel skin test and after 23 pricks on my back I remained resting comfortably playing Hay Day waiting for the 30 minutes to pass. The nurses left the door cracked in case I needed them. I had no concerns. But then within 10 minutes or so my head started feeling funny. It was that fuzzy feeling. I felt warmth. I went to the nurses to let them know. And then the whole Texas experience happened all again. It sucked. The allegist was baffled by my response and so was I. I didn't expect it. I expected nothing at all. Nada. Zilch. I walked out baffled. I went to bed early that night.Come Saturday I thought all was good. Don't eat dairy. Don't get skin tests. I am fine. But shortly after driving into town with my daughter those sensations came back. I panicked. I had my daughter in the car. I pulled over to the side of the road. I couldn't get a hold of my husband. Anyone else I could think of was out of town. I called 911. I ended up in the ER. Once again it was confirmed I was fine but this doctor planted a seed in my thoughts. You see, I knew we were missing something. I did not eat dairy. I did not get pricked my dairy. My body was acting as if it had....or so I thought from what I was told in Texas. And that seed the doctor planted....hormones. Hormones could trigger a adrenaline response. He stated I was not having an allergic response (I felt that was true now). Dear hubby asked about anxiety. The doctor said, hormones out of whack could produce what looked like anxiety. He suggested I follow up with my doctor.
I did email her right away but a new way of looking at things was set before me. Forget the cake. Forget the allergy testing. Just think. Every single episode started with heat. I had felt that before. The night my dad died. I bolted upright in bed, described it to my aunt and mom, and they calmly told me I was having a hot flash. A hot flash. Hmmm....could it be? I posted earlier this year that I thought I was on the verge of perimenopause even though the clinical tests weren't proving it.
And this is the embarrassing part - to state that my sensations of a "hot flash" were so intense and scary that perhaps, just perhaps, they triggered a severe panic attack. It is humbling to think that. It is hard to tell the world that. But I feel it is the right thing to do. No, I have had no tests to prove this. I have emailed my doctor and allergist admitting the same embarrassing thought process. If nothing else, I am honest.
My power word for 2013
Am I on the right path? I really think so. I have had multiple sensations throughout the weekend. Each one I embrace now, instead of fear, and they have passed without my heart rate going to crazy and without my full body shaking. I am on to something. I have the power.
Will I start eating dairy again? No. I feel better in so many other ways without it but I believe the original diagnosis in Texas was wrong. I am working on letting go of the fear that that label left me with. I am not allergic. It was a wild coincidence and just imagine how different this story would be if that original experience did not happen after eating a piece of cake full of dairy?
Things are not always what they appear to be.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for the loving care from the medical community.
Daily Affirmation: I am strong and through sharing my story I become stronger.
