With Valentine’s Day being tomorrow, I wanted to write a special message to all the single ladies out there. Above is one of my all time favorite quotes spoken by the fabulous Carrie Bradshaw during the final season of Sex & the City. If you know me personally or if you read my blog regularly you know that I am engaged. What you may not be aware of is that fact that before I met my fiancé I almost settled. I was in and out of a five year relationship with a very nice guy. I had my doubts while we were together but for some reason I continued to go back to him after every break up. I guess he was safe. I was comfortable with him.
I grew up listening to my mom talk about my dad. She always told me her life began when she met my dad. Her heart stopped when she first saw him leaning up against his locker wearing his pink Oxford shirt and black Members Only jacket. I never felt this way about my ex and I never understood why. I just thought maybe that was the way God had planned my love story. I never felt any spark and I never had butterflies in my stomach but I figured I could live with that.
Shortly before we broke up, we were spending the evening at my parent’s house watching TV. He got up to get some water and I asked him if he could grab me a cup of coffee. He poured me what was left in the pot and it only came out to at most a quarter of the cup. My dad asked him, “Why don’t you just make her a new pot?” He replied, “I don’t know how to make coffee,” which was insane because he made a pot of coffee for himself at his place every morning. I didn’t know it at the time but my dad was livid.
My parents told me this story recently. I honestly don’t remember it. I think I blocked a lot of that time out (almost as if my life began when I met my fiancé). I guess as soon as my mom got home from work my dad pulled her aside and told her what had just happened. He told her, “Coffee is one of our daughter’s favorite things and he refuses to make it for her.”
The next night my mom sat me down and had a talk with me. She told me that she never wanted to intrude or try to influence me one way or the other but her and my dad couldn’t keep quiet anymore. They knew I deserved better and after everything they had seen and heard they were worried I was settling. I started crying because I knew what she was saying was correct. I was too afraid to admit any of it to myself but I had been feeling that way for years.
I prayed to God and asked Him to guide me. I was terrified of being single and alone after having someone there for five years but I trusted God. I told Him that I was going to end my relationship and I was going to give my love life to Him. I knew He had a much greater plan.
We broke up the next night. I felt sadness and relief all at the same time. I knew it was for the best. I received this text from my dad after he found out.
I met my fiancé less than two weeks later. On the night of our first date I thought to myself several times, “This is how it’s supposed to feel.”
For our third date he invited me over to his place. He made me enchiladas, rice and beans. And for dessert he put together this fancy caramel thing. Oh, and freshly brewed coffee in a French press. Yes, I took photos of the food. Mostly to show others how wonderful he was. He still cooks for me to this day. He would prepare coffee in the French press for me if I didn't pack it and put it in storage. Oops!
I’m telling you all these things because I don’t want you to settle. I was watching the news while I was at the gym yesterday. They were discussing how it is better to marry someone who is safe and actually get married than to wait forever for someone extremely special. I completely disagree. I’ve been in both types of relationships and speaking from experience, it is so much better to hold out for that extremely special person.
