It’s been a good 6 months since I wrote on here and I know I seem to have fallen off the face of the earth but thank you so much to the wonderful ladies who have asked after me on social media x
I last talked about a very strange ‘illness’ that was plaguing me and how pretty much everything in my life had to be put on hold. I was very nauseous, constantly throwing up and losing a lot of weight. I couldn’t do much at all and had to spend much of the day sleeping. At one point, I think I was clocking a pathetic handful of hours awake each day only. Of course that meant the bulk of child care, household chores all fell on my husband. I just couldn’t do much or stay awake.
Well, considering all, I am very lucky and blessed because it turned out that the strange ‘illness’ was in fact… yes, as some ladies suggested, a surprise pregnancy!!
The bump
To be honest, I never did consider that I would be pregnant again. My husband and I previously agreed on no more kids – two is enough to keep us on our toes and since we had children in our lives quite early on, we always imagined ourselves getting done with parenting young children earlier in life and enjoying our freedom. Now that Kasey is 3, we were rather thankful to be over the diapers, sleepless nights, toilet training stages! But yes, we’re absolutely eating our words now…
Pregnancy was never easy on my body and after a particularly difficult labor with Kasey, I remember muttering rather grumpily to my husband: “Never again.” I just didn’t think my body could survive another difficult pregnancy/labour. To be stuck in a little town with a small country hospital without much options also added to my resolve not to have more kids. Put it this way, even the midwife herself asked me if I would ever want to have another baby here in this hospital as even she thought I had a really terrible experience.
At 30 weeks of my pregnancy now, I’m just so thankful that things did improve ever so slowly. I’m just glad I’m over spewing 4 times a day, eating nothing but a few crackers, watching my weight drop below the 40kg mark while pregnant, overwhelmed by the dreadful mummy’s guilt about my lack of ability to care for my kids, depressed with counting down to the next dreadful spew that I knew would render me bedridden for a few hours, feeling absolutely sorry for and even angry at myself… the list was really long indeed and I was certainly very unhappy and struggling to cope. Repeated attempts to will my mind to toughen up obviously failed and I was often in tears.
Besides the frequent leg cramps, heartburn, backaches, indigestion and uncomfortable sleeping in my last trimester now (yes bring it on, we’re on the home stretch now!), there’s really not much to complain about and I’m just trying to keep fit and more importantly, mentally positive and strong.
Talk about spew and tears aside, I actually am very excited about my baby. I think I’m a little older and I feel slightly (ever so slightly) more prepared to look after and actually enjoy a baby. It is a very special gift and babies really are little miracles from heaven. Now to agree on some names with the husband #missionimpossible.
