On August 8th my marathon training path changed. You can see that post HERE but in a nutshell...I dropped the Maui Marathon due to new priorities in my life.Those priorities haven't changed, but I have. I am dedicated and focusing each and every day to building a better me. My own personal mission and campaign -- #buildingabetterme -- seriously, you should jump on board with this because you won't know where it will bring you until you try.
A week ago I started Insanity. I actually purchased this program weeks ago and it has been sitting in my house. My plan was to start it post marathon but then it hit me, I am not running the marathon so I might as well start it. My plan was to do the 8 weeks and started it 100% committed last Monday and then today happened.
I am still 100% committed to Insanity and my workout program but you see, my #buildingabetterme is transforming me in amazing ways. It hit me today. Run the marathon. Go for it! Even if it is a run/walk plan. Do it. Why? Because it could be....are you ready for this....FUN! I am not tied to time goals. I have been the less stressed mom I want to be. I haven't been agonizing over long runs...and haven't really been doing them...but I have been working my booty off in my cross training.
For 4 months I have been running daily and cross training daily (well, almost daily with cross training while on vacay in late June and early July) and I have been pushing myself more these past 4 months than ever before. I kinda wonder what impact that has on me. The running, the cross training, the better nutrition. How will this impact performance?
I am not expecting a PR and I realize I may have to walk. That is okay. I WANT to go on this journey now. I WANT to see what impact cross training has on marathon training. I WANT to keep my faith and go 26.2 miles with God by my side leading me each and every step of the way. I WANT to do a marathon with no other thing in mind beyond enjoying the journey.
I have felt overwhelmed and so incapable of stuff at many, many times in my life. I have almost always felt that I am not enough. Not good enough. Not fast enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not inspirational enough. Not enough.
I am done with that way of thinking. I am done trashing myself. I am ready to MAX OUT in my life, push myself farther, put my full faith in God, and see what happens at the end of the road. If I stay on the sidelines afraid I will get nowhere.
Yes, my training has been unconventional but I have been following what I need to do in my life. If I have been called to give this marathon a try, which I believe I have since it came to my heart, I will. If nothing else, there will be a story to tell at the end of the day. A journey being documented. A broken girl finding the pieces of her life, pulling them back together, and showing her everything is possible with God by her/my side. I will remain faithful and if that marathon takes me 6 or more hours, that is 6 or more hours I can spend with God and truly reflecting on how much He has blessed me.
I will be running (and walking I am sure) the Maui Marathon on September 18th for God, for Toby, for my daughter, in memory of my dad, for myself to continue to heal my wounds, to overcome anxiety, to overcome depression, for all those lost souls to abortion, for the love of women and children everywhere. And I will be doing all of this with the support of my hubby who will also be running but at his pace. His pace, his race. My pace, my race. Both of equal value no matter who crosses the finish line first (and it will be dear hubby).
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for a loving husband who supports my crazy, changing mind.
Daily Bible Verse: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11
