I wasn't going to give you a Monday Funny today because it's a Bank Holiday and instead of hammering away at the coal-face you're all lazing about at home as though you were a 74-year old retiree, er, like me, actually! But then the Blessed Andra sent me though a large selection of Funnies so I relented and, splendidly generous fellow that I am, I have decided to share some of them with you:
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.
'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.
'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.
'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.
'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.
'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.
She whispers in his ear,
'That's me before the surgery.'
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went golfing.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
There, that's cheered you up as the wife hands over the list of long outstanding domestic tasks to be completed by midnight. Have a nice day . . .