A freezing cold Monday morning with ice everywhere so I guess you wage slaves need cheering up. Here's the first sent to me by Andra - who else?
Good medical advice from the Jewish sages of old..
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After f***ing, dont eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed 'cause it can save your valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
So remember . . .
FASTING is good for you health . . .
and may God cleanse your filthy mind . . . my life already!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And this from one of my commenters who will not be named and shamed, I will merely ask him if he's sitting comfortably:
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked
her if she knew what hole he was playing.
I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. "I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"
"I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she replied.
"No, I won't."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for
Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool.
"See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!"
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a
salesman for haemmorrhoid treatments, so I'm still a hole behind you."
