A love story for golfers showing just how much a good wife will do for her husband in his hour of need:
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
Beth replied, "Well Charles, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason."
Charles was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons'?"
Beth said, "The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"
Charles recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"
Beth said, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."
"I recall that," says Chuck. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."
"All right," Beth said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes . . . . ?"
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Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.."
He then addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower ?"
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, "Self-raising, isn't it ?"
And thus began my life of celibacy..........
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Found a stray parrot on my balcony the other day.
All he says is, "Good morning, you old fart!"
Is he yours?
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'A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.'
Joan Rivers (1933-2014)
Picture: REX FEATURES :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.'
Bob Monkhouse (1928-2003)
Picture: Rex Features There you are, that's your lot, well worth waiting for, don't you think? Sorry, didn't quite catch that . . .
