Humor Magazine

Why is America So Damned Confusing?

By Davidduff

I ask because I was on the point of adding yet another 'MD?' (My Darling whoever) to the increasingly long list of lovely political ladies who have graced these distinguished columns over the years.  A vacancy has occurred because MDM (My Darling Michelle - Bachman that is) has retired hurt from the great game.  However, today, via Drudge and Politico I learned that a winner of the Miss America competition had announced her intention of running for office in a congressional district in Illinois.  All you regulars know of my predilection for slobbering at the feet of these lovely, powerful ladies and I assumed that as a former Miss America she would be an exceedingly hot piece of pulchritude.  However, I learn that she won it on the basis of her opera-singing ability - opera!? eh? what? - and that bikinis are no longer the sole requirement for Miss Americas.  Dammit, you can't rely on anything these days!

Anyway, this lady, Miss Erika Harold, does look exceedingly attractive and her record is exemplary in that she only entered the Miss America competition in order to win scholorship funds so that she could study law at Harvard which she did with considerable success.  She's a Republican and only 33-years old and single, so I'm in with chances!  It goes without saying, of course, that she will enter the White House someday and you can take that as a surefire bet given my superb ability at forecasting US presidential elections - and before you bother, JK, don't!

Remember you read it here first!

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