Humor Magazine

Why Does David Ruffley MP Keep Sticking to My Shoes?

By Davidduff

David Ruffley MP is like the worst sort of shit which, once trodden in, is virtually impossible to remove from your shoes.  I first trod in this dog-pile of an MP in January 2011 when he succeeded in the impossible by making me feel genuine sympathy for Bob Diamond, the erstwhile boss of Barclays Bank.  Then, dammit, I trod in him again in February 2012 when he was laying into (Sir) Fred Goodwin, another banker, and by his hectoring and ignorant manner succeeded in making him a victim!

Now he's back again, this time courtesy of Guido, who reports:

A Guidorama investigation can reveal that Ruffley has had at the
very least 16 staffers over the last two years – a phenomenally high turnover
for a backbench office. [...]

Ruffley’s man-management skills are the stuff of parliamentary folklore, and
Guido hears reports of his “obnoxious” behavior leading to bright-eyed
hopefuls leaving his office in floods of tears, some binned after only days.
Apparently, “to have been fired by Ruffers at some point is a rite of
passage”. While no doubt some members of staff left for good reason, things

have become so “shouty” recently that Ruffley has been reported to
party whips over his behaviour

Are the hayseeds of Bury St. Edmonds deaf, dumb, blind and without a sense of smell, or is it that most of them wear wellington boots all day as they trudge through the sludge of their farmyards and therefore never notice the shit clinging to them?  Whatever, they keep sending this nasty little man back to parliament and I really do wish they would stop it!

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