Assalamualaikum.
As a hijabi (one that wears headscarf or hijab), I often get asked by non-Muslims why I wear this piece of cloth on my head. Don't I have hair? Or is my hair too ugly so I prefer to hide it? Aren't I feeling hot in it? Is it heavy? Am I being pushed to wear the hijab?
Sometimes, I feel disobliged to explain my choices to people. However, as I learned more and more about Islam, I felt that it is my duty to make them understand the beauty and wisdom behind the hijab.
My hijab story dates back to 1995-1996 when I used to be fascinated by my mom's headscarves. In fact, I wear her hijab. At the end of the day, my parents bought me kiddie hijabs. From then on, I have been a hijabi all my life. Although, as I pointed out in my blogpost here, I had a lot of struggles with the hijab, especially during my college days.
I've had my fair share of struggles and hardships with the hijab. But they do not include oppression or being pushed to wear the hijab by my parents or my friends. When I wear it, it is my sole choice. It is my own perspective that told me there is a need to cover myself up.
So instead of being asked if I was pushed into wearing it, I'd rather hear someone ask me the reason why I prefer to wear the hijab.Hijab, for me, is more than just a piece of cloth. It is an ideology that I dove into. It is not just a physical covering that I wear to conceal my body. Rather, it comes with a complete package. When I wear the hijab, I do not only feel upheld. There is a force within me that makes me a better person. It empowers me to be better. It gives me the power to have a control not just over my body, but my heart and mind, too.
When I wear the hijab, I am in my, if-not-best, better version of myself. I refrain from doing bad things. It is just like a filter that helps me drop my bad deeds. And that matters a lot to me.
Wanting to be constantly stay with the right path has always been my goal in life. I am not like most people who would love to do something crazy and wild even once in their life. Because they think that this is the only life they get. Most people call me reserved, but I would rather be that person than regret it in the next life.
Hijab gives me just what I needed. I am not compelled to wear it. In fact, it is I who saw the need for it. And I am not giving it up.
It is a constant battle to wear the right clothes and hijab. And there are people who criticizes me for the way that I wear mine. What they don't realize is that the outside appearance that the hijab gives off is just the peak of an iceberg of what it really means and does to my being.
I can't speak on behalf of the millions of hijabis around the world. But one thing is for sure, a lot of us chose hijab for all the good things it brings with it, especially that it is a form of worship to our Dearest Almighty, Allah SWT.
I am not compelled to wear it. It's just that I feel I am a better version of myself when I wear it.
~O~
This post is part of the Lilpink Hijab Diaries, which is a series of posts on this blog that talks about hijab, its beauty and wisdom. This is to support the cause that calls on non-hijabis to wear the hijab for a day every 1st of February of each year, World Hijab Day that brings awareness of what it feels like to wear the headscarf.
Kai Darul is one of the Philippine Ambassadors of World Hijab Day, together with Azizah Talusan (www.azizahtalusan.com), Mara Biruar (www.thepeppygirl.com) and Caroline Lovely.
