Humor Magazine

War is Hell but War Between Historians is Unmitigated Ferocity

By Davidduff

Yes, indeed, we're back to that old subject 'war' and it's the Germans who started it - natch!  Well, to be fair, it is the German wars, One and Two, over which their historians are 'blitzkrieging' each other so I suppose they are entitled.  They seem to kick off on these battles every few decades - bit like their real wars, I suppose.  Anyway, according to a long article in Der Spiegel by Dirk Kurbjuweit, after a fairly long truce hostilities have broken out again.

Apparently, immediately after WWII, there was a mute submission to the idea that Germany was to blame for it and great efforts were made to ingratiate themselves with the 'civilised' world (heh!).  As far as WWI was concerned, the German historians proffered a range of excuses combined with accusations that diluted the idea that Germany was solely responsible.  But then, in 1961, Fritz Fischer pulled the pin out of an historical grenade and lobbed into German, and world, society.  In it he maintained that WWI was instigated entirely by Germany to comply with long-held views on German grand strategy by the ruling class of the time.  There could be no ducking and diving, 'it wos Germany wot dunnit'!  This view then became the new orthodoxy and was extended by other historians who maintained (as most Brits thought at the time!) that WWII was merely the second round in an on-going campaign that never really stopped.

So, in effect, the Germans ate Scheiße and were eventually rewarded by either the Norse Gods, or, dim statesmen of the time (excluding 'that woman', of course!) who graciously allowed East Germany to join up with West Germany.  Needless to say, after a period of real austerity and sacrifice,  western Germany managed to swallow their eastern half and now both have prospered  and become powerful once again.  Thus, you will not be surprised to learn that a new generation of German historians have come out of the woodwork and are laying into poor old Fritz Fischer and his lächerlich ("ridiculous, ludicrous, laughable, absurd, farcical, risible" - courtesy of Google translate) theories because it is now so very obvious that Germany was not to blame for WWI - it was all the fault of others!

How wise were Churchill's words all those years ago when he decribed 'the Hun as being either at your feet or at your throat'!

 


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