Humor Magazine

Waiting for God to Turn the Lights out . . .

By Davidduff

08.26 hrs:

Yes, apparently He is displeased because we haven't been paying our energy bills on time and so sometime this morning 'the lights are going out all over England - will we see them lit again in our lifetimes'?  Enough of this sub-Lord Grey nonsense, there is to be a solar eclipse this morning and your brave frontline reporter, instead of burying his head under the duvet, will bring you all the latest news as it occurs - er, unless I blink and miss it!

09.04 hrs:

No change - heh! - promises, promises . . .

09.45 hrs:

"Is that all there is?"  (Sorry, more Peggy Lee!)  Well, the earth didn't move for me nor for the 'Memsahib', although she added that it never did - what can she mean?  Anyway, I could discern no change in the light whatsoever.  And I was looking forward to a sudden blackout with my elderly neighbours tripping over their furniture, cars skidding and crashing on the main road because they failed to put their lights on and the lady vicar shedding her clothes in the churchyard and converting to paganism.  Instead of relying on all those astronomy science swots the media should have turned to the astrologers, far more accurate they'd be!  Anyway, we'll wait and see if there are any late effects . . .


More later

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